3/21/04
By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Special March Madness Sunday Edition

Bracketcetera
I mostly defended Billy Packer for last Sunday’s Phil Martelli Incident. I can’t, in good conscience, defend his way-too-early towel throw-in during last night’s Syracuse/Maryland classic. Packer put the Terps to bed at halftime in a game that wound up going down to the final buzzer. Sideman, and ever-steady Jim Nantz wasn’t much better and never guided Packer away from the early burial. It’s the Tournament, Billy, the high-major kids never quit. Especially if they play for Gary Williams. What was even worse than burying the Terps early and often, was Packer’s incessant mentions of how he just couldn’t believe the come back. You’d think after all these years, a veteran wouldn’t make such an error. Maybe Martelli got in his head. . . The night cap between Texas and UNC took on a similar look and Packer was much more attentive to the proceedings and let things unfold naturally, in another last-second contest. . . WAAAAAAA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Wadood.. . .CBS had some quick, unexpected switches between yesterday’s thrilling finishes involving Stanford’s loss to Alabama and the Orangemen win. There was no voice over from Greg Gumbel and at one point, I could have sworn Jim Boeheim was coaching the Cardinal. It wasn’t smooth, but The Eye didn’t miss anything vital. . My Buddy Paulie rightfully asks: Where’s the split screen, Davey? Good question. . . Oh yes, by the way, it’s definite - Clark Kellogg IS ready to beat the piss out of Seth Davis. Which, after careful consideration, might not be the worst thing to ever happen on CBS. I’d even buy that one on Pay-per-View. Seth Davis giggles. No man on TV should giggle. . . Imagine steak and shrimp/and shrimp and steak/imagine both of these/ on just one plate/so happy together. . . Someone needs to drug test the Planter’s Peanut – the dude’s got crazy hops these days. . . Last night, ESPNEWS left the Bob Knight post-game presser a bit early for my liking. I’d watch Knight twiddle his thumbs. The facial expression he laid on one long-winded questioner was vintage Knight and that’s always good TV. . . Okay, Tracy Wolfson, you win. I’ll be president of your fan club. And you, in the truck, let’s get some more camera time for the fox in Wolfson’s clothing. . . Bad, I know. But some people like that crap. . . WAAAAAAA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Wadood.. . . So somehow Jason Giambi figures it will be cool to go ahead with the Arm & Hammer ad campaign featuring the tag line: “All the muscle a man needs.” That’s it! It wasn’t steroids. It was Arm & Hammer. What on Earth were we thinking, Jason? . . . And yes, I do want to sit in the Planter’s Luxury Suite in San Antonio. All the nuts you can eat, gallons of Dasani water and basketball too? That’s the South Beach Basketball Diet, isn’t it?. . . I swear that burger wrapper sniffing guy got canned and is now applying for a Monster.com job on that other annoying campaign airing every three minutes. Creepy Wrapper-sniffin’ Freak.. . . Oh, and the Monster job applicants who keep disturbing us? Someone get Donnie Trump to let them know: “You’re FIRED!” . . . Ian Eagle’s “A shocker. A stunner in Seattle, Alabama plays the role of giant killer,” call of ‘Bama’s win was the best of the tournament yet. . . I was also once quite Spanarkeled in Northwood, Michigan at a bar called Frick’s. . . WAAAAAAA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Wadood.. . . Didn’t this Boddicker on Texas used to pitch for the Sox?. . .Make sure you tune into Teddy Sarandis for a few minutes during the BC game – it’ll be worth it, I promise. . . Happy Sunday, now go do the crossword puzzles like a normal person.
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David Scott is a freelance sports writer based in Hull, MA and can be reached at dscott33@comcast.net