By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Breaking News, Broken Reporting
Steve Burton, on CBS4’s Sports Final was reporting it as breaking news, even though Ty Law’s arrest in Miami took place early Saturday morning, according to reports. The Patriot Ledger was being given credit for the story’s break, according to the Associated Press; but the PL had no mention of it the story on its website as of 2 a.m. Monday NBC7’s Joe Amorosino must have had a dutiful intern watching Burton, because (no) Ammo shortly thereafter reported on the same story.
Confused? Welcome to breaking news in the Internet Age aka, the Age of No Enlightenment.
At least Burton, who lucked into having Pats’ DVD-promoting wide receiver, David Givens already scheduled, was able to try and get a response from the mild-mannered star-on-the-rise. Givens said he was “shocked,” and seemed ready to perhaps say more until Burton gave him an easy out with “I know you don’t want to rag on your teammate. . . let’s move on to better (topics).” The DVD, of course.
No Ammo didn’t even have the good sense to break format for Xtra and let in-studio guests Danny Boy and Howard Bryant chime in on what this means for Law’s future with the Pats. (The scribes’ pairing actually worked, believe it or not.)
Within one hour – from midnight to 1 a.m. – the story moved from 1st on ESPN.com’s NFL page to 7th on the front page’s right hand “Headlines.” Let’s see how it charts throughout Monday, but it was an emerging story, if not a breaking one. Semantics, perhaps.
Two other early observations: We’re guessing Ty was actually just continuing his Feed the Family/Anger Management tour and bringing the message to the blue-collar, hard-working cops.
And, secondly, this could set up an interesting break-up for the Pats and Law, just in time for the Draft. FEED US PICKS, says sane-minded Pats fans. CUT LOSSES, NOW, MR KRAFT!
This is gonna be great. WEEI’s anodes and transistors might explode from all the commotion between the Sox, the Bruins and everything else crashing around us. (NOTE – I know nothing of broadcasting technical terms – but both those words were, at one time, radio-related, not to mention fun to use.) . . . Shep’s anodes and transistors could burst as well, come to think of it.

Rawhide
I like the in-game talk with the pitcher who left the game ala Tim Wakefield on FOX Friday night. ESPN has been doing the same. Wake gave Kenny Albert the great line: “I’m just glad Aaron Boone’s not in the line-up.” Funny. Sad. . . The Verizon Guy and Max Kellerman at Fenway on the same night? Wow. That’s how big this rivalry has become? Staggering. . . Can’t wait for I, Max, the show Kellerman convinced FOX they needed. We doubt it already. . . Alternate titles for the Max Factor’s talk show: I, Yell; I, New Yewrkah and I, Caramba. . . No baseball mention in any of that, I assure you. . . Kevin Millar’s post-game hair on Sunday afternoon was at heights well out of the camera’s frame. For hair to stand up like that there needs to be a combination of grease, dirt AND pine tar. Or so I surmise. . . If Jim Calhoun can throw Monday’s first pitch as fast as he talks, he’d make a solid No. 5 for the Sox. I was hoping to get to toss the first pea over at the L Street Field for Hull’s Patriot’s Day baseball showcase. They told me they never heard of me and they already had a dog that was going to nudge it toward home plate. More haters. . . The Verizon Guy’s minutes aren’t up yet? Our tolerance for him sure is. . . I don’t think I need Levitra, I just need this sex-crazed Levitra Lady who dominated ad time during FOX’s Friday night telecast. . . And, friends, let’s put a stop to this “Scooter” the Talking Ball character right away. Is that how they replace Psycho Lyons? Scooter actually had a wardrobe, or audio, malfunction in his Friday night debut, so we had to see the bald bastard twice in a short span. He sounds like he got kicked in his ball. . . I think the White Sox fan who gives Sammy Sosathe spicy hot tacos is the same kid who secretly corked Sosa’s bat. Sammy was set up like a bowling pin on that one.

Lupicatharsis – Purging the system of the whiny scribe’s repeated annoyances
Here’s my best Heraldo Inside Track knock-off, which seeing as that space is a Daily News knock-off, is a fitting tribute to the DN’s Mikey The Lip: Someone who Was There tells us that upon discovering his co-worker (or teammate, if you prefer) Bill Madden had taken a front row press box seat, The Mouth that Whined had a full-on tizzy fit for the amused ink-stained folks to see. We hear that after a couple of phone calls (presumably to and from the NY office), Madden bequeathed his seat to his Royal Whineness. Madden did his work from the media dining room. And The Lip was able to be in prime position just in case there happened to be one of those “look at all the media at today’s game” kind of TV shots.
File Under: Broadway Musical Chairs. . . in the Press Box or maybe under: Get Over Your Short Self, Napoleon.

Sunday Night Shows
Credit David Givens for reserving judgment on Ty Law’s situation and focusing on the task at hand, which was promoting the new DVD “3 Games to Glory II” and his own davidgivens87.com website, which will include some of his own art. Maybe he can paint something of Ty in his fleeing period? . . BC’s Derrick Knight was in-studio with Butch Stearns for FOX25’s Sports Sunday. Knight handled Stearns’ haphazard line of questioning well enough to deserve a Top 125 pick next weekend. Knight more likely will face a decision about which team to try and hook on with. Stearns did deftly nudge Knight to listing his top choices if he does wind up as a rookie free agent: “Denver, Tampa Bay, Minnesota, and The Pats,” Knight said. . . Gordon Edes wouldn’t let Derek Lowe get away with saying “I’m not making excuses. . .” Gordo rightly surmised, “That IS an excuse.”. . . . Mike Lynch again helped to show why he and Mike Dowling are Boston’s best sports desk tandem. Following the Lowe soundbyte about how DLowe knew it was going to be a bad day as early as yesterday’s first inning, Lynch came back on-camera and wondered: “Then why didn’t you tell the manager?” Reasonable question. . . Wendi Nix retained her crown (tiara) for Sunday night star, with her 1 on interview with the “NEW! IMPROVED! MORE OPEN! Manny Ramirez,” alongside goodwill tour captain, Kevin Millar. Nix also had the line of the weekend when she asked the poofy-haired Ramirez: “Are you going for the Lenny Kravitz look?”. . . Manny’s plea to the media: “I’m a quiet guy – get to know me.” Wasn’t that Phil Hartman’s line? Or was it Jon Lovitz?. . . Screw the Duchovny look alike from WINGS, let’s get that fiery redhead Mulder on Pole No. 3 over at the Bada Bee. . . That lady had time with JFK the way I had time with Madonna. Tony’s a real sap sometimes, isn’t he?. . . I didn’t say that – it was Lupica, Tony. I swear. . . Uncle Junior should have earned an award with last night’s performance. He was tree-mendous. . . It is bullcrap that Tony’s dad gave the dog to the Crazy Lady. And you gotta figure, the kid is Tony’s blood brother, right?. . . I think Christopher set that whole thing up from the get-go, which is respectable in some ways.

Of The Cage, Jack Leaman and a Wonderful Visit
Either skip to the next heading (haters) or indulge me for a few hundred words as I try to offer some of the feel of Sunday’s classy, UMass Tribute to Cambridge’s/BU’s-UMass’s/Many Others’ Jack Leaman. I’d encourage a peek at any of the fine Pioneer Valley on-line news spots for the straight skinny. I’ll give it to you through the maroon-colored glasses I discovered I’d left behind a few moons ago:

AMHERST – The Old Lady swung open her barn doors once again and the heat wasn’t the only thing familiar to the faithful who came yesterday to celebrate the life of Jack Leaman. The Curry Hicks Cage already had stories and memories in every nook and cranny. Now it has a few more.
Leaman did some of his best work on the old dirt floor of the building; yesterday, from high above courtside, he got hear about what that work meant to the people he touched.
There was John Calipari, the man who always embraced Leaman, because young coaches always need old coaches to commiserate with. And because Calipari, even in 1988, knew the value of having the old-timers on your side.
There was Julius Erving, soft and solemn in his words; strong and salient in his in his message. “Goodbye coach,” said the good Doctor. “I love you.”
There too, were the new(er) guys, BC’s (and on-time Umie) Al Skinner, Bruiser Flint, Steve Lappas – all following their passion the way Leaman followed his from Cambridge to BU to UMass and beyond. And Dee Rowe (skipping the UConn parade to honor his former rival, by the way) was there, Dave Gavitt and Dick Bresciani, too. There were elderly with canes, toddlers with rattles and friends with heavy hearts.
“Jack didn’t have any envy in him,” Calipari said. “He was the greatest coach to ever coach here.”
Not to mention, a coach who was one of the nation’s first to go from the men’s game to the women’s game, as Jack did at UMass. I remember Leaman telling me one time, when I didn’t quite yet understand its meaning, “They’re coachable. The girls are coachable. A lot like my old teams,” he said.
Said Karen Fitzgerald-Moran, one of those ladies Leaman coached: “He knew how to get what he wanted from each player. I didn’t take yelling all that well. The one time he did yell at me, it was at halftime of a game and I wasn’t playing defense very well,” she recalled in her remarks, fighting back tears. “In the locker room he screamed at me, ‘You’re making their center look like George Mikan.’
“Through tears, I looked at Coach Leaman and said, ‘Who’s George Mikan?’”
But the UMass family will never have to say, Who’s Jack Leaman?
We all found out yesterday when we said goodbye to the man Calipari paid the highest of compliments, in the simplest of ways: “He was a good man.”
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And yet more Inside Track tribute:
Jackie Leaman touched a wide range of people. Herewith, a sampling of some of the others who were run into, run away from or spilled on at the Leaman gathering, which brought probably 800 people into the steamy Cage (You’re a true Umie if you know 33 percent of these people): Former UMass AD, Bob Marcum with his Marshall Chief of Staff, Jeff O’Malley. Or is he the Chief Marshall of Staff? I get so confused with titles. That’s why they just call me: Unemployed. . .Another former UMass AD, Frank McInerney (we think – unless Frank’s deceased. Then it was Whitey Bulger with apologies to Frank), Tony Barbee and Derek Kellogg (both of whom joined Cal in a semi-quick getaway so they could return to Memphis for last night’s Tiger team banquet), Mike and Skip Connors (13 feet of good humor) , Mike Hodges, Bob Picket, Jim Patulak, Thorr Bjorn, Ruthie Drew, Bonnie from Basketball, Fromage Komer, Jason Germain, Booster Boss Ron Nathan, Trigger Burke, Chancellor (and solid emcee) John Lombardi, former women’s coach Joanie O’Brien, Geoff Arnold, Howie Davis, NBC Sports’ Cathy Connors, the Big Ten’s Mike McComiskey, John Leonard, Pat Plunket, Charlie “Have A” Bare, Jerry Radding, Ron Chimelis, Matt Vautour, Jeff Smith, Howard Herman, Gentleman Jim Kline (Springfield Legend), Marty Dobrow (Writing Legend), Ron Laham (Legend, Own Mind), George Miller, Marc Vandermeer (former Voice of the Minutemen, now voice of the Texans), Stats Guru Al Beaubian, BU’s Erin Hetzel, Glenn Wong and the resonant echoes of Tommy Bishko. ABSENT AND NOTICEABLE BECAUSE OF IT: Rick Pitino

Black Rubber
Wound up in Hartford on Saturday, so I figured I’d go over to the mall and catch the Whale in the playoffs. Must of been a road game. . . A Game 7 in any sport is special. A Game 7 in hockey is sudden elimination. I’ll be watching. And enjoying.

Radio Ga Ga
Returning from Amherst late Sunday afternoon afforded the opportunity to list to parts of the game on both the Yankees and Red Sox flagships. It also reminded us that we forgot another reason to Hate the Media When it’s Sox-Yanks: The Gravel Guys – Sterling and Steiner working from the Yanks’ booth. There’s more bass in that booth during one game than in a decade of Symphony Hall programs. It’s like listening to a thousand cold motor boats all trying to crank up at once. We just don’t realize how good we have it with the mellow, subtle tones of Troop and Joe. . . If I heard correctly on Saturday, Morton Dean and Armen Keteyian visited the ‘EEI booth during the game. I’m doubting that duo was headed over to the Cask for some Busch Light after the game. . . What Would Johnny Do (DB tribute)? I believe Damon said “brain fart” twice on the Saturday post-game with Troop and Joe. . . With a drive to Pawtucket last Friday with The Baze, we were able to test whether day-time WEEI is as annoying in Rhode Island as it is in Massachusetts. Results: YES. And worse yet, in stereo. Laughing, cackling, deep-throated men in stereo. And the FCC is doing what exactly? Leave Howard Stern alone. Ban the cacklers. . . I still don’t know if Neumie, Dale and Sean McAdam were serious in their skewering of USA Today’s story about being a Yankee Fan in Red Sox land. It was pretty clearly presented in Friday’s paper as a fun, staged piece. I admit, it was awfully executed and a huge waste of space, but the threesome’s comparison of the article to Jayson Blair and the USA Today scandals was well off base. It was simply a case of the wrong guy - NASCAR writer Chris Jenkins (and his brother-in-law for crying out loud) trying to use humor to illustrate the passion of Sox-Yanks. He swung and missed each time. But it didn’t hurt anyone the way Neumie was claiming.

Hoops
I like the Celts in five now. And you?

Shaughnasty
You know, the Globe’s new 2-page break up of stories considerately allows for much quicker Danny Boy reading: when’s the last time he had much worthwhile past Graf 4 anyway?. . . Hey readers! Let’s play Small-Market/Big Market Sports Columnist Comparison with Saturday’s papers in Hartford and Boston. In the Insurance City, Jeff Jacobs turned in a solid effort with well-used quotes, smart observations and some Fenway flavor. In the Insecure City, Danny Boy managed a lame Nancy Kerrigan reference and then devolved into running play-by-play for the final third of his space. You know what, DB? I can both read a box score AND a game story if need be. You, DB, need to offer me something different. Something I couldn’t even imagine, maybe. Something that says, “I dig this. I know I’m fortunate. I’m going to give my bleary-eyed Saturday reader something to wake up with.”. . . I know, I ask for a lot. Maybe I should just be happy you’re not The Lip, and cut my losses. DB was, after all, smart enough to immediately praise Wendi Nix’s revealing Manny/Millar piece for Sports Xtra (see Sunday Night Shows item above).

Pokey for VP
We need Pokey to get out and press Marathon fans’ flesh after brunch with bagels and baseball. My poll numbers show that his name recognition with the key 18-24 block, is somewhere below John McCain’s but above Ross Perot. . . I miss Ross Perot every year at this time.

Rants and Raves
You minute-hoarding-clock-watcher? The Donald, is that any way to speak to an employee. I’m sensing harassment suit. . .Okay, Ellis Burks, Otis Smith and Dana Barros. Anyone got Reggie Lemelin’s phone number. . . If these FBI clowns are suggesting Whitey was into bestiality, then they’ve gone too far. The Whitey I know isn’t exactly cuddling goats and poodles. I think the pix are doctored, personally. . .One long-time, loyal reader in attendance at The Cage yesterday told me I’m a lot more bitter than he remembered from this space’s last incarnation. I thought about that a good portion of the ride home – almost all the way until Sturbridge, even. I concluded this: I’m not any more freaking bitter, and you’re a freaking a-hole. Oooh. Maybe you’re right. But I still say I’m better, not bitter – just on the side of truth. . . What is this, the National Take Off from Writing Your Sports Media Crit Column weekend? Rudy Martzke doesn’t write on Friday and Bill Griffith has nothing for Sunday. Am I only guy working in this nation? I bet Norman Chad has something for Monday. (That mention, by the way, should get me $1.25). . . I just realized that boston.com’s Eric Wilbur stole my job. That’s how I see it. . . The state of Connecticut can’t figure out whether to impeach its governor or tag along for his suit sale shopping sprees. But they sure can make signage: The big blue board on the side of 84 West already boasts of the 2004 dual hoops title. . . Last thing, and this is true not because I am friendly with several of the organizers, but because it just is: the Leaman Affair was a sign of how good UMass can be when its people work together. For a few hours, at the most public of public schools, you felt as if you were experiencing a private school ceremony. It was tasteful, thoughtful and inclusive. It brought back some of the feelings that washed over the campus when Cal had it rolling. History taints those memories sometimes – yesterday made them shine in an early spring sun. . . I’ve completely lost it now. That was Stuart Smalley stuff. . . Longest, column, ever. Sorry.
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David Scott can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com