By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Sunday Night Shows
Give Babbling Bob Lobel some credit – he guaranteed an “award-winning piece” from the Steve Burton-interviewed/Jim Murphy-produced, Ty Law Q&A for last night’s CBS4’s Sports Final. True enough, Ty deserves an award: The Go Away and Be Quiet Award (GABQA), currently residing on the mantel of Antoine Walker. . . In the post-package scuttlebutt with Lobel, Burton, Green Boxer Michael Smith and Yellow Boxer Michael Felger Underwood, Smith smoothly jabbed Burton when he asked: “Did you read the article before you interviewed (Law)?” after Burton attempted to (as a favor to Ty, he said) get the context of the now infamous “I gotta eat” quote. It was Smith and former teammate, Michael Holley who originally gave Law the platform from which to vent. Look at what they created. Just when you think the Hungry, Angry Man Tour is over, it starts up again. He’s like Girls Gone Wild – a new release ever month. . . Truly, the only significance from the Law piece is that Burton somehow convinced the bosses to send him straight across the US from Boston to Houston to LA in order to confirm what we knew all along: Ty doesn’t get it and the Postons don’t get it. . . I’m guessing Burton flew Song Airlines on his cross-country chase – every where he stopped, the Law Men were singing like birdies. . . As Smith pointed out, “It makes for good TV and all, but it’s time for him to just play.”. . .Lobel was so flustered with all the topics he wanted to get to, he nearly tried to talk about the Charlie Weis sitch before reacting to the Law Review. . . All that said, it still wasn’t even close in the race for Scott’s Shots Sunday Night, Show of the Night, Nightie Night: Sports Final benefited from Law’s ludicrous lines and then the semi-lively banter from the aforementioned crew. Lobel also began a surreal argument with producer “Gilligan” in the booth, trying to get some tape rolled to go along with the, ah, hmmmm, riveting Manny Can Really Hit discussion. It was everything you don’t want to do on live TV, from a man who’s been doing it for 20-something years. Yowza . . CBS4 also didn’t have much competition on this night: Chris Collins at NECN had ordinary Jerry Trupiano and steady, but TV-neutral Nick Cafardo; while NBC7’s still-background-noisy, still slow Sports Xtra was over-dulled with Joe Average, Danny Boy and The Heraldo’s Dour One, Howard Bryant. . . You watch NECN long enough and eventually you ask, does Tom Ellis know he’s still on TV? He turned to throw it to Chris Collins for sports last night and you could hear the make-up cracking off his face. . . That Christopher on Sopranos really has a heart of gold, doesn’t he?. . . The next time punk ass AJ swears like that at the dinner table, Tony should clock him like he did Chrissy at The Bing while he was watching “The Three Amigos” . . . Bryant’s body language on Sports Xtra Awful last night indicated: I don’t want to be sitting at this honkey-ass table! His chair was so far away from the table, they might think about tethering HowBry to the table-leg next week. In the 3-shot, Bryant was just about wheeling off stage right. . . Or maybe it’s a 2-shot – I flunked TV Broadcasting 101. That’s why I do this. BITTER!. . . Danny Boy admitted, re: Big Poppa David Ortiz: “I was so wrong about this guy.” You don’t suppose the Pine Street Inn visit made DB human, do you?. . . Local Call of the Weekend came from Sean McDonough on Manny’s Friday bomb: “When it lands the Red sox will have the lead. . . And it’s going to land on Landsdowne Street”. . . Memo to NECN’s Collins: Troop’s good people and all, but he isn’t going to bring the viewers in any vast numbers, that’s for sure. . .The anthropological side of my Sopranos brain has deciphered the difference between good criminals and great criminals. Mostly, it’s how you get rid of the bodies. This Pakistani figured Wally the Coke-sniffing Monster would just dissolve in the salt water? That guy was like Afa and Sika Samoan combined. At least the FBI’s on the case for the “terror connection”. . . Too much Sopranos, I know. . .Not only was the Ty Law interview nothing new at all, it made me miss the Sports Xtra feature on Jeff Horrigan’s music writing career? My logic tells me it might have been with the Drop Kick Murphy’s, but I only caught the last 10 seconds and was still reeling from Ty’s obliviousness. Clearly, the Herald scribe is a bit tired from killing his Globe counter-parts on a daily basis and needs some other challenges. If you do requests, Horrigan, could I get one about lonely guy, living on a beach, with a black Lab, a pick-up truck and a dream? We can throw in some Bushmill’s references if the Murphy’s require such – I’m flexible.

Pardon the Insinuation
At the behest of a valued reader, we went to the excruciating pain (phone-dialing/emailing/questioning and answering) of contacting the Pardon the Interruption (PTI) production people to find out if, as I hypothesized in Friday’s space, Bob Ryan was on double secret probation with the creative PTI folks. Thankfully, after some diligent Scott’s Shots digging and mucking, it was revealed that the Stephen Angry Smith fill-in last week was mostly because PTI’s producer, (and former Motley Fool COO) Erik Rydholm found himself in a pinch when Basketball Bob couldn’t get to DC (where PTI is taped) because of prior NESN/Globe commitments (i.e. being in place at The Place with Babbling Bob Lobel).
“Bob is always in the rotation, we love working with Bob,” says Rydholm, who if you know anything about the Motley Fool and/or PTI, can rest assured this is a pretty damn, talented gentleman, who makes good TV/Radio/Internet. . . Further, Scott’s Shots is happy to report via Frankie Nation, PTI’s talent booker that Boston Bob will be filling in at the PTI production pod from June 21-24 and June 28-30. . .That’s FRANKIE Nation, not to be confused with Ted Nation, Red Sox Nation or the United Nations.

Percy the Dog was fetching the tennis ball up at Stodder’s Neck in Hingham and all of the sudden, Manny’s Friday night moon shot bounced once on the dirt path. And this was on Saturday night, mind you. Percy, for those scoring at home, got it on the second bounce. Good, doggie. . . RemDawg suggests to Sean McDonough during the 8th inning on Friday night, that Sgt. Friday has been “more relaxed” during this game than their immediate past Fenway Friday Frolic. “You don’t have that guy following you around,” opined the RemDawg
Ah, RemD, I was not ‘following’ Sgt. Friday around. I was reporting, Doggie. Digging deep. Observing, notating and even shaping my prospective missive on Sgt. Friday (SS Archive, May 10). ‘Following’ connotes being paparazzi-ish or underhanded. I was neither.
Of course, I was guilty of over-scouting the Visiting Booth Broadcast Babe and trying to shove as many Munchkins in my pants as the Dockers would carry. . . Which brings us to MunchkinGate, the ghastly crime perpetrated by the Robed One, Judge Judy, during her visit to the TV38 booth. Credit Life Size Wally for bringing a box Munchkins to JJ and the grandJudies as TV38’s way of saying: “We see everything and you, JJ, are NOT above the law of Sgt. Friday and Rem the Crime Dog”. . . One more Ryan note: How come when I empty out my own sports mind’s Desk Drawer all I get is lint and rusty, bent thumb tacks?. . .With Father’s Day on the horizon, here’s what I’d do if I were a proudly professed Son of Sam Horn: I’d tell Dad that maybe TV isn’t his gig. But that’s just me – I’m not big on flashy gifts or tacky ties.

Track & Field
It might be me, but I think it would have been a lot funnier had speedster Maurice Greene aimed his post-race fire extinguisher at Marion Jones instead of his own “too hot to handle” track sneakers. Maybe it could have put out the fire of controversy surrounding the sport’s very own Barrietta Bonds. . .Between NBC’s Home Depot meet, the WNBA on ABC viewing and My Niece Liza’s outstanding dance recital in Sharon (part of the Janet Hershman School of Dance gala), I’d say I was the area’s most well-rounded sports media critic by about 12 solid furlongs.

A Belmont Town Road Show
Remember, Belmont BSMW loyalists, Scott’s Shots pulls the Winnebago into town on Wednesday night for Belmont Community Television’s (BCTV-8), 8:00-9:00 p.m. sports extravaganza with hosts Todd Bloniarz and Howie McClallen. Phone lines will be open – even if you can’t watch, we can still chat! The phone number is 617-484-2443. That number again. . . 617-484-2443. Call Soon!

Keep wishing for McHale-Bird and maybe, just maybe, it will happen. . . Even with temps on the Hull Shore hovering in the teens on Saturday afternoon, I could feel summer’s warmth emanating from the WNBA opener on ABC. Who can forget those early days of the WNBA, when you thought Spring might last forever, only to have WNBA Opening Day remind you: “It’s summer time.”. . . How cool is Diana Taurasi? When ABC’s always-ready Doris Burke did a rapid-fire Q&A with the ex-Huskie, the now-Phoenix Sun rookie replied thusly when asked her ‘favorite designer’: “GAP. Is that a designer? It’s my designer.” Mine too, D. . .Nice effort having Taurasi mic’d for the at the half segment. Her chat with Connecticut’s Lindsay Whalen was humorous and “insiderish”. . . Don’t be trying to convince me that Rudy Off The Martzke was watching the WNBA on ABC on Saturday, never mind offering legit critiques of the production. I go above and beyond for you guys, you realize that, right?. . . How will I ever get through the August hiatus weeks when the Dub-N shuts down shop for the Olympics? Maybe they’ll run ESPN Classic WNBA games to fill the void.

Not even Scott’s Shots is bitter enough to do anything but praise Danny Boy for his Sunday column chronicling a recent visit to the city’s Pine Street Inn. What is it they say about blind squirrels?. . . It’s not easy praising this guy, you know?

Griff Gruff
Now that Bill Griffith has profiled Jerry Remy’s website, you gotta figure that what, eight or ten more people know about it now?. . .How many press release announcements can fit in one Sunday column? It seems like he’s always pushing the envelope in that department, eh?. . . I critique because I care, you know that too, right?. . . On Friday, Griff was able to get a mention of old Heraldo rival, Jim Baker, into the SporTVoid. How does that conversation go? Something like: “I’m still kicking your ass and I don’t write anymore.” “I know, I know but these clowns aren’t about to change anything. I could do this until the cows, or Holley, at the very least, comes home.”

Bye, Max
I had planned a full review of Max Kellerman’s Fox Sports Net entry into the PTI also-rans. But a full interview would require getting through one full episode and having Michael Holley as the show’s World Representative is not going to keep me anywhere more than 30 seconds. . . What World, precisely, does Holley on the Trolley Again represent? The one where you take one of the (supposed) great columnist jobs in the nation and proceed to disrespect the paper, the readers and the profession? Nice world, that one.

Pokey for VP
If Kerry defers the nomination until after the DNC, as had been floated this weekend, then the only thing that can possibly save network coverage will be the Kerry/Pokey ’04 announcement. Pokey is as real as Reality TV gets, people.

Rants and Raves
Answer me this: Does SmartyMania actually cure Flyeritis– that annual affliction that cripples the little Philly puckheads for three to six months, depending on when the Phillies or Eagles are available to provide another Phabulous Philly Phlop. . . I’d like to announce Scott’s Shots strong desire to distribute “Fahrenheit 9/11″ on behalf of Michael Moore. Please disregard my lack of movie business knowledge or even how to distribute a flyer. I shall overcome. . . There was a recent request for more Syracuse bar references, specifically for Harry’s. Sorry, but I was – and always will be – a Chuck’s man. With the caveat being that it had to be Chuck’s Original – not the stinking brew factory they tried for a spell there. If I’m not mistaken, in the heyday, you used to get three OV splits for a buck, which really only equaled 21 ounces of beer, but allowed you to place a bottle on all your fingers and walk around like you were the OV Monstah. . . FOX25 had a report on the Tufts pass/fail class dedicated to studying The Simpsons. And I’m thinking, maybe I could swing a Master’s in something, after all.


David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at