By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Rawhide
Do you think Gisele Bundchen knew she was occupying the very same seat that had been home to the backside of Shaughnasty, just moments prior to her most-welcome appearance on NESN’s pre-game Tuesday? From Lenny DiCap to Danny Boy – that’s “Jumping the Shark,” friends. . . With Eck and Gisele side-by-side, all I could think of was “Sonny and Cher Redux” . . . Gisele – as Homer Simpson would say about donuts: “MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”. . . Gisele. . . Clearly, with Mitt Romney’s high-profile, high-visibility, Tuesday night seat along the 3rd base line, The Guv’s got more juice than John Kerry, who got the less-camera-friendly spot on the 1st base side, last Sunday. Of course once Kerry gets with Pokey, he’ll be in the dugout alongside his running mate. Seating problem solved. . . Gisele. . . Did you see Don-O trying to buck ‘Lil Wally off the ‘Lil Bull the other night? The ‘Lil guy would not go down despite Don O’s repeated, overzealous attempts. Closer inspection seemed to reveal a Velcro lining on the ‘Lil Guy’s inseam (Wally, not Don-O). Didn’t Wally and RemDawg learn anything from the BALCO scandal?. . . Gisele. . . OUR Anal Schilling Mound Fixers kick YOUR Anal Schilling Mound Fixers’ ass, any day, any field, any inning. . . Gisele. . . Never too early to head out and see John Kennedy’s UNDEFEATED North Shore Spirit at Fraser Field in Lynn. It’s the best North Shore entertainment value outside of the Golden Banana. And good clean, family fun to boot. Not that the Banana isn’t fun for the kids as well. . . Is the Banana still peeling these days? Last time I was up north country, it looked a bit run-down and maybe even shuttered. Not that you’d notice a difference, of course. . . My guy Bruce over at www.fromcursedtofirst.com would like you to remember his cool site for all your Father’s Day/Graduation Day needs. . . Was Ben Affleck (who I thought we banned from Fenway until next season) wearing a Killing with Schilling t-shirt the other night? If I’m Schill, I bust out the No Mo’ with JLo for under my uni with the next start.

Silva Lining
Interesting past month for Steve Silva and his bostondirtdogs.com. First off, like Bill Simmons before him, Silva found a unique way to go from the fringe to the mainstream. The two men are completely different animals, mostly from the evidence that suggests Simmons can really, really, really (THREE!) write some tremendous stuff. Silva seems to be more of a utility guy with some sporadic humor, buoyed by intense passion. His soon to be boston.com-”incorporated” site will absolutely, positively have to change in some way, shape or form now that it is linked with boston.com and all its parents. I don’t care what anyone says – dirtdogs will never be the same site again - it will always be under the banner of boston.com. But that’s okay – that means there will be competition and/or evolution in the “category” from below or from anew. It means that sooner or later the old ink-stained fogies are going to open their eyes entirely to the way the web can offer revenue streams and entertainment value to their archaic newspapers. On that alone, Silva deserves credit for being part of a positive, emerging trend. . . If I were Silva, I would use my mainstream press credential for entrance to the ballfields only – he will inevitably lose a step (and his vantage point) by following the pack in the clubhouse. That statement defies all journalistic logic, but it also makes Silva something completely and utterly different – he becomes, for a lack of a better term “one of them”. . . There is no way we can be devoting this much space to Steve Silva. Tom Silva from This Old House – yes. Steve Silva – no. . . How about our guy John Molori breaking the Silva news way early (Monday night as far as I can tell, for the Wednesday announcement)? Bill Griffith must have been reading through some ESPN or FOX press releases at the time.

Tessie Up!
So, early reports were correct: ace Yellow Box baseball guy, Jeff Horrigan IS in cahoots with the hard-singin Drop Kick Murphy’s. Not only did the even-keeled, keen-eyed Horrigan re-write the lyrics for a new Fenway Anthem, he lent his vocal chords – along with some Sox players, who already get enough pub – to the track. It’s already being boomed from the very same PA system that gives us the soulful sounds of Carl Beane. Fear not, Horrigan won’t be abandoning box scores for sheet music anytime soon: “Thankfully, it will be hard to hear my voice in the chorus,” says Horrigan, who re-wrote the tune to tell the tale of the Royal Rooters, a forerunner, we suppose of Mosi’s Mooses and/or Damon’s Disciples. “I sounded like a combination of Charlie Brown’s teacher and (The Simpson’s) Ralph Wiggum in my headphones, which was a little disconcerting. The Dropkicks came up with some awesome music for it and the chorus is really catchy. . .My spies is Southie tell me that Whitey was and still is a rabid Royal Rooter. . . Ringo Starr’s All-Star Sportswriters’ Band, Boston Version: Horrigan, vocals; Peter Gammons, guitar; Tony Massarotti, female vocals (kidding Mazz, ‘EEI made me say it); Charlie Pierce, harmonica (if he doesn’t play, he should); Dave Barry*, Tupperware (*Although not sports and not from Boston, he needs to be in every All-Star band for the pure hilarity he brings).

A Belmont Town Road Show
There were other viewing options on 8 p.m. on Wednesday night, including the Sox and something called “American Idol,” but it’s the fortunate few who chose Belmont Community TV’s “Time Out for Sports Talk” who were most entertained, most informed and probably most confused. “The fastest hour in community TV” was kind enough to bring in Scott’s Shots to fill the third seat alongside producer/host/Munchkins-provider Todd Bloniarz and Howie McClallen. With a dedicated staff working behind-the-scenes and a studio set that puts the FSN Guinness Bar to shame, TOST is the toast of BCTV8, having remained on the air for 10 years and over 200 broadcasts. Bloniarz is well-prepared and has a good ability to move conversation along seamlessly. McClallen chooses his spots carefully and doesn’t waste words. And get this? They’re both soft, firm and reserved in their delivery. They discuss. They listen. They banter. Any chance Smerlas and his Giggling Gaggle of Grown Men could take some lessons over at the Room 117 Broadcast Empire located at Belmont High?. . . My Buddy Paulie Brookline called in to the show from across Belmont borders and was surprisingly lucid and poignant in his comments. Too bad he couldn’t see the faces we were making at him. . . Bloniarz, by the way, was last year’s winner of The Sam Adams/NESN Announcer for an Inning Competition. A long-time dabbler in all kinds of broadcasting, Bloniarz will be webcasting the 2004 New England Intercollegiate Baseball Association (NEIBA) All-Star Game, from Fenway this Sunday evening, one hour after the final out of Sox-Seattle. It can be tuned in (that’s so 20th century, isn’t it?) at Tufts’ www.jumbocast.net and should complement your Memorial Day Eve barbecue quite nicely. . . And cripes, I almost forgot - Howie skipped out on his 19th wedding anniversary night to be there on BCTV8 Wednesday night! What dedication. . . And listen, while I’d love to do every community access show in the state – and the land for that matter – the bar has now been set: 200-show minimum, 10 years or more. Sorry, Montague. You guys haven’t even had electricity that long. . . it’s okay for me to bash Montague because I lived there. It is still my favorite post-Peabody town ever, with the greatest bar ever, The Montague Inn.

Hoops
A programming note from ESPN: Jim Carey will be playing the role of Rick Carlisle for the remainder of the playoffs. You’ll barely notice a difference. . .Is anyone on the Celtics working on hoops this off-season? Doc Rivers is still playing TV and Paul Pierce popped up with the unbearable Tom Arnold and crew on “Best Damn. . .” yesterday. Pierce is working on his golf game and said he’ll take all bets come August. Great - another place for him to hurt his back. So help me, if Jiri Welsch appears on Regis and Kelly, I’m trading in my last, remaining Celtics t-shirt for a Pacers one. . . Pierce was sharing TV and stage time with avid golfer Alice Cooper, who comes to the South Shore Music Circus this summer and who I expect will do an incredible, live version of one of the all-time sleeper hits, “Only Women Bleed.” Scott’s Shots would like to be there for that - think I can get a press pass over at SSMC? And can you still Mike’s Hards when you’re on one of those music reviewer’s passess? Someone get me Steve Morse on the phone.

Shaughnasty
Picked-up pieces from Shaughnasty’s picked-up pieces, which were picked up a little too close to Bob Ryan’s mind-cleansing for my liking. . . Sox in May, Yankees in October - don’t you listen?. . .Not only should we refer to Grady Little as “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” but we should try it for me as well. . .Did anyone notice that I bragged about my niece the tennis player on Lobel’s Show from The Place this week?. . .I haven’t used “ThanksDad” in forever. . . Not only can you get 19 18 when Gabe Kapler and Johnny Damon stand near each other, you can get it by ripping Page 19 out of the Globe and putting it front of Page 18. Or by switching pages on your desk calendar, or any number of coincidences that I won’t get into because they might indicate the Curse of the Bambino is pure horse gaw. . . I don’t even know if horse gaw’s a word, but the dictionary is very far away and Holley was right - this is exhausting. . . I knew Ted Williams, did you know that?. . . . Sox in May, Yankees in October - don’t you listen?. . .Gee, I should be making more fun of Roger Clemens, but it must be obvious how contrived it is at this point. . . I know Red Auerbach too, did you know that?. . .Anyone not rooting for Scott’s Shots to have the same success as my good friend and co-worker, Steve Silva?. . . Okay, back to plucking old lines from old columns for another few weeks.

Pokey for VP
Pokey’s People were wondering if Al Gore got into Howard Dean’s medicine cabinet?

Rants and Raves
I’m not one to brag, but the ladies are really digging my brand new bostonsportsmedia.com t-shirt. I suggest you try one out for yourself from the link at the home page. . . Boxer Antonio Tarver and Questioner Tim Russert have got to be on the same tour – every where you look, there’s Tarver, and everywhere else you look, there’s Russert. . . Dr. Phil was id’d on Larry King as: top line of the graphic, Dr. Phil; bottom line, Dr. Phil McGraw. Thanks for clearing that up, Lar. . . Holiday Programming Note: In celebration of the marriage of Danielle Faith and Michael Robert this coming Sunday (and any lingering side affects thereof), Scott’s Shots will not appear again until Friday, June 4. However, that day’s column will mostly be made up of another in our growing number of Scott’s Shots Winnebago Field Trips to a local sports media giant. Terms of the column will not be disclosed until Friday, but rest assured, I will be taking you to a place you’ve never been before. So enjoy the long weekend, be safe and enjoy. See ya next Friday.
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David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com