By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Rawhide
We’re not the suspicious types here at Scott’s Shots, but someone needs to get in touch with Bud Selig’s pseudo-office and see whether Colorado’s “gift trip” for Wally the Green Monster can be considered “tampering.” Last I checked, the Wallster was property of Fenway and its fandom. This mascot free agency thing is going too far. I blame Dershowitz. . . When did Nomar enroll in Professor Ty Law’s course on “How to Alienate Boston Sports Fans?” Mr. Hamm’s “somewhere. . . somebody. . .” conversation with the Heraldo’s Michael Silverman was not No. 5’s best moment. Nor was it very glorious for Bob Hohler or Nick Cafardo, who evidently were out of position when Silverman got his golden nuggets. . . Freewheelin’ Freddy Albany thinks Schilling’s new pony has the same balky ankle as the pitcher. Freddy’s avalaible for parties and Bar Mitzvahs all throughout the Saratoga race card in August. . . Krisily Kennedy and me are officially broken up now. I swear she was chewing on some Bubble Yum during a NESN piece the other night. That flies at Revere Beach, not Red Sox Nation. . .Do you think RemDawg would mind if Scott’s Shots broadcast’s live from the RemDawg All-Star Break Bonanza? I have no idea how to do that, technically, but it sounds like something that might get me free beer and nachos. Have the Dawg’s people call the Shots’ people.

Mainstream Media Madness
It’s taken me a while to digest last week’s Patriots’ mini-camp media restrictions – I didn’t want to overreact and predict the demise of sports coverage as we know it. But now I will do just that – overreaction and all.
As I understand it, reporters were restricted from reporting, but allowed to attend practice. Sort of a “you can watch, but you can’t tell” kind of thing. Although not a permanent policy, the Pats Plan may be the start of something ground-breaking in the way pro sports franchises CONTROL their message. Before I get into theories, accept this much as irrefutable: the Internet has changed things dramatically for the teams, on one side, and the media, on the other. That change has redefined the boundaries and trampled “old media” standards.
Now it will simply be a matter of who is more aggressive in reacting to and evolving with this changed (sports) information world, or if you like, “new media.”
By stipulating what can and can’t be reported – and explaining it away by saying the sessions were “instructional” not “evaluational” – the Patriots (and others in the league, it appears) are beginning to make the argument that they don’t entirely need the Globe, the Herald and a handful of other mainstream organizations.
The Pats media corps can either abide by the restrictions and make the best of it, or they can bitch and moan and watch the abrupt end of any access to workouts, evaluations and the like.
We’d like to suggest fighting them tooth and nail because a) it will make for good copy here and b) it would be fascinating to see how far the Patriots could take it.
Kraft’s crafters are more than happy to use their vast and ever-expanding media empire to inform its legions of fans. Don’t you think patriots Football Weekly might sell a few extra copies if they were the only ones with an all-access pass to certain team meetings or practices? Might it not be worth a subscription to an “insider” portion of patriots.com to be the first on your block – or fantasy league – to know that Corey Dillon tweaked a hammy during an afternoon session?
While Curt Schilling’s separation from the Sons of Sam Horn proved that individual athletes might have trouble entirely “controlling” their message, it’s not to say that the Red Sox, Patriots and any other deep-pocketed corporation (have you heard of the NFL Network?) couldn’t do it.
The argument has always been that teams need the local media to keep the public informed, maintain credibility and yada, yada, yada. But just what is the local media these days? Isn’t it possible, just theoretically anyway, that Steve Silva’s bostondirtdogs.com (sorry Boss, just an example) has a little more juice than say WB56 or, I don’t know, the Patriot Ledger for instance?
If all this sounds like a pro-Internet guy crying wolf in hopes of creating a better job marketplace for writers and critics, maybe it is. NECN’s Mark Ockerbloom and Chris Collins were actually on the verge of some good insight from Steve Buckley on the very subject this week, but Ock seemed to be fearing it would turn off too many viewers and went back to Sox talk. Probably a wise move – this kind of minutia is probably best left to the loonies like Scott’s Shots.
But, maybe, it’s also a very logical assessment of how unprepared the ink-stained lollygaggers are to deal with the ongoing revolution that is speeding up, not slowing down.

Pigskin
Let’s understand one thing before Rohan Davey becomes the starting QB for the New England Patriots due to Tom Brady’s understandable decision to remain in post-coital embrace with Bridget Moynahan for the remainder of his life. My Buddy Paulie Brookline calls me Davey Hull, so to avoid confusion, RD is going to have to go by Rohan Davey Foxboro. Understood? Davey Jones will remain, as always, Davey Jones. . . . I just got excited for Pats season thinking about the unfurling of the new banner. I don’t need no stinkin’ ring – I got a banner!. . . I’m still trying to sort out where I sit on the burning question of whether incomparable former Pats receiver, Jamin Elliott deserves one of Bobby K’s Big Baubles. Jammin’ Jamin, who feels shunned, played in one game and was on the practice squad the rest of last season. With that as his argument, I tend to feel that loyal season ticket holders like Richie Hopedale and myself deserve a ring for freezing our poopik’s off during the Iced Beer Bowl. . . Colorado’s wacky president Hoffman has assured me “poopik” was also a medieval word spoken as a term of endearment.

Off the Hizzle, Fa Shizzle. Dizzle.
Killing time before the start of Sox’ Game 1 at Coors Field, Scott’s Shots stumbled across ESPN2’s 30-minute regular, “The Hook Up,” which prides itself on pairing a sports celeb with an entertainment icon. Tuesday night’s episode matched Minnesota Viking Randy Moss with one of young Percy the Dog’s personal faves, Snoop Doggy Dog. Great concept, fair execution and these two lasting questions: Couldn’t they have gotten “High Times,” instead of Mountain Dew as this episode’s sponsor? And, how did they ever resist going with the temp-title “The Hookah Up?” Holla back, y’all.

College Pigskin
A cursory glance at the Big 3 of college football preview mags – Street & Smith’s, The Sporting News and Athlon – gives the impression that Georgia, Oklahoma and USC are the nation’s best teams to start 2004. Lame duck Boston College, by the way, is picked second in the Big East to West Virginia in each of the trio’s conference rankings. . .The biggest Top 15 enigma (love that word this week) would have to be Ohio State, who finds themselves at 6 (TSN), 10 (Athlon) and 12 (S&S). . .Now, my accountant informs me, it’s completely legal to write-off all three mags. for tax purposes – $20.97, all tolled. I love my job. . . Had the pleasure of speaking with both Brock Berlin (Miami) and Chris Rix (FSU) in separate phone calls this week. Rix gives the better quote, but methinks Berlin throws the better ball.

Hoops
Kobe Bryant just called to find out when he should be ready to start the NBA Finals. . . I would have preferred Basketball Bob be in Detroit to watch the Mistakers fall. He could have gotten to Southampton a day late. Phil Mickelson would have still been there. . . Stephen Angry Smith seemed to be his most angry during the Finals. Can you even imagine how this guy would handle rush hour in Boston? Philly’s rush hour, from what I recall, consists of three bums chasing the cheesesteak scraps from 6 to 7 a.m. . .Okay, so this now means that Doc Rivers is all ours, correct? Or does he have some TV obligation on ER or St. Elsewhere?. . . They don’t make TV like they did from St. Eligius anymore. I think I had my tonsils out there. . .You’ll notice an early post on this edition of Shots – that’s because we have the pleasure of attending the retirement dinner for long-time Hartford public schools teacher, Aunt Esta. Ever the keen eye for talent, The Es (The Shirl’s sister, if you’re filling in your Scott family tree) had pegged Marcus Camby as a rising star long before Billy Bayno sunk his claws into him. Happy trails, Es – you served your students well.

Between the Lines of Pages
Scott’s Shots frequently clamors for better national coverage from our local big-time newspapers. It may be time to clam up the clamor. Stan Grossfeld’s “A voice for the victims” on Wednesday was Standard Stan – good pictures, average words on a compelling topic (rape, violent athletes). It’s the exact type of piece that Jackie Mack would have shone on – if only she could take pictures too. That’s one heck of an odd way to assign stories, if indeed the Green Boxers are doing that with Grossfeld, the semi-versatile photog/writer. Otherwise, you need to put your best take-out writer on your best pieces. . . The other part of the equation, once you get past who’s doing the writing, is why is it being written? For my money, the Globe needs to be doing more digging on fascinating features IN New England, or INVOLVING New Englanders. Kathy Redmond’s connection with infamous Patriot footnote Christian Peter is not enough. Further, as one valued SS reader eloquently put it: “How could there have been so little mention of the (relevant and ongoing) Colorado scandal? Especially on the day after President Betsy Hoffman ‘Barnetted’ her explanation that one particularly offensive expletive-deleted might be a ‘term of endearment.’” Instead, the Green Boxers waited a day to report on Hoffman’s interpretation and buried it in Thursday’s drab, haggard and drearySports Clog. . . Putting aside all of that, Redmond deserves credit for he courage and determination and for founding the National Coalition Against Violent Athletes (www.ncava.org) . . .See! I do have a heart. . . Oh, and the best one-liner of the week, per usual, came from Tony Kornheiser on PTI when he said, “Yeah, it’s real endearing, like calling your honey ‘snookums.’”

Pokey for Vice President
This week’s injury to the Pokester gave the big man some time to reflect on the tremendous grab from Sunday night and ways he can incorporate that leap into some stump speeches. Reminded by Carville-like confidant, Wally the Green Monster, that antics like that killed Howard Dean’s chances, Pokey nodded. Word from the campaign clubhouse is they abandoned plans to have Pokey leap the podium at each stop in Colorado and California. Another save for the Wallster.

Shaughnasty
Leave it the “Curse of The Danbino” to ruin my hometown Peabody Tanners chances at a state baseball title for Nails Niz. Danny Boy shows up in Lowell for the Xaverian game and all of the sudden there’s errors and lead changes and all of the things that happen in baseball games. What? That’s not a curse? What do you mean it’s just coincidence? When the very man who wrote the book on The Curse of all curses is in the house, there has to be a connection. Right, DB?

Rants and Raves
Are Lance Armstrong and Marion Jones using the same speech writer?. . . I admit to missing the whole brouhaha over ABC’s switch America’s closest golf tournament to “America’s Funniest Home Morons.” But that is mainly because there was no chance for Tiger TV (TTV) . I like golf, love the challenge and frustrations of the game, but no way I’m wasting Sunday time on Rory Sabbatini and Padraig Harrington battling with Sergio Garcia to win a Buick or 30. Rory, Padraig and Sergio? Aren’t those the dudes on the Three Musketeers candy bar? If Tiger’s in competition, I watch – if not, I’ll save my Sunday viewing for “60 Minutes” . . .Speaking of which, don’t miss the Stop Watch’s interview with Wild Bill this Sunday at 7 p.m. . . Tim Russert took another two steps backward when he appeared on Wednesday morning’s Cold Pizza. How does this show stay on the air? And while we’re on the topic, I dare you to find one fan of I, Max, not named Kellerman, Wolf or Holley. . . Big ups to the Heraldo’s ceviche recipe from last week – young Percy the Dog and myself substituted halibut for the scallops, added some fresh avocado and the result was a summer dinner second only to lobster in the rough. Or buff. Percy stayed away from the jalapenos. Good doggie. . . Scott’s Shots is putting together a collection box for the Sears corporation in hopes we can raise enough money to put an end to the company’s sponsorship of the barely bearable almost-game show “HearSay,” during SportsCenter. We know there are more worthy causes out there, but we can’t, as loyal ESPN viewers, allow them to prostitute each and every SC segment – especially when it’s something as awful as, what has to be, the talented Kenny Mayne’s lowest moment at the network. Kenny might want to think of pitching into the kitty himself to save him the dishonor and disgrace of being a shill for the Craftsman-pusheing, Kenmore-using bullies. . . Ann & Hope never sponsored awful TV, ya know. . .I didn’t necessarily “get” Ralph Wiley, but I do “get” the fact that 52 is too, too young to pass on. Scott’s Shots offers condolences and strength to the Wiley family in their time of sorrow.

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David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com