By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

United States Gymnastics Trials on NBC
Yeah, right.

Sunday Night Shows
Both NBC7’s Sports Xtra and CBS4’s Sports Final had proud papa, Raymond Bourque and his NHL-drafted (and BU-bound) son, Christopher (Capitals). CBS4’s Steve Burton’s piece was typically overwrought, complete with his station’s patented use of a cheesy song for background noise. On the other hand, 7’s Gary Gillis offered a perfect package with just the right touch and all the right questions. If Gillis isn’t the most under-appreciated guy in Boston TV, he’s a strong 1A (to ABC5’s Mike Dowling). . . Joe Amorosino gave an odd welcome to the Michaels Smith and Holley by saying, “Michael Holley of ‘I, Max’ and Michael Smith of the Boston Globe, for now.” Is there something we should know here? Or was it an inside joke that made the viewer scratch his head? Or, and this is most likely, it was Joe Amateurino offering up more examples of why Wendi Nix should be the studio host on Sunday nights. At least we understand what she’s talking about. . .The Michaels were beating up on each other with little jabs at each other – how cute. And Holley was able to take a few digs at his former (forgiving, understanding and now, hopefully, embarrassed) bosses. . . Dave Briggs appears to be getting more comfortable for the 7Sports Team and contributed a passable Red Sox re-cap. . . Let’s give credit to Doc Rivers for his handling of this Burton question during a Sports Final visit with the Doctor taped on Friday: “Are you in over your head?” Rivers resisted the retort some of us might have used: “No. Are you?”, and instead admitted to hearing such discussion but ensuring his confidence he can get things rolling for the Green. . .CBS4’s Dan Roche delivered an intriguing piece on Kevin Millar’s almost obsessive use of video, adding another solid “Red Sox this Week” piece to the Roche Man’s reel. . . Chris Collins snagged Derek Lowe as his in-studio guest for NECN’s Sports Latenight and Lowe showed a great knowledge of the relevant numbers concerning his team. For instance, Lowe – or “Dee” as Collins called his chum – suggested Nomar’s 60 ABs are merely equivalent to spring training and also pointed out that the Sox, despite having lost three of the prior four series, had outscored its opponents. Collins prides himself on getting the guests, with Lowe he got the guest and the guest delivered the goods, as well as THE wife, Trinka, who showed a flare for being in front of the camera. You hear that FOX25’s Debbie Rodman? Watch out, girl! Trinka also deftly plugged the upcoming Sox Food Drive, another of the endless wives’ causes that deserves all of our attention. She answered thusly, in part, to Collins query of what it’s like to be a player’s wife: “It’s lonely.”. . .DLowe admitted: “I’ve had some pretty good ‘snaps’ this year – beating up a medicine cart that attacked me,” he laughed. . .Sports Latenight was abbreviated to 30 minutes, and repeated for the 11:30 hour (ala the weeknight format). Ultimately, that might be the best formula for Collins and NECN – it alleviates the need to fill 60 minutes, which is sometimes just not feasible on a shoestring budget. Quality, not quantity, CC.

Between the Lines of Pages
The “non-suspension” of Ron Borges from the Globe does bring up an interesting policy variation within the paper’s pages. Astute followers of “the rest of the Globe” will notice that when a Metro columnist or a Business writer is absent from a regularly scheduled appearance on their respective pages, a note will almost always be included somewhere in the section (usually on the cover page). For instance, often there will be an italicized line stating: “Brian McGrory is not writing today.” Evidently the sports readers aren’t allowed to be privy to such sensitive information. (Of course it would be an overwhelming dilemma with Shaughnasty’s space – they’d have to include a “Danny Boy is writing at an ‘office newsletter’ level today,” or maybe “Danny Boy will now recycle, re-hash and otherwise repeat various past offerings.”)
Point being, for the dedicated sports reader, there are no such explanations. Now, while I will agree that it’s probably not our business as to why McGrory – to stay with the same example – isn’t writing; the editor’s effort to address this, at the very least, recognizes the paper’s belief that the valued Metro or Business reader is worthy of some explanation of why the column isn’t appearing.
In contrast, the Globe Sports section loyalist is left wondering, as has been the case for the last week-plus, where is Bill Griffith’s by-line? Is SporTView officially dead – or is it on hiatus pending a re-vamping (i.e. fresh perspective, more encompassing coverage, a writer who “gets” it)? Or, is it maybe a sign that Griffith is actually the suspended sports desk employee and not Borges?
Is this how you build loyalty and create continuity? Keep the reader in the dark – they’ll never suspect a thing.
Well, we’re starting to suspect and our suppositions are pointing to this:
It would be too much to say the whole section needs to be blown up and revamped in order to better reflect the “NEW” Sports Media World. But it might just be time for such a move. The wheel doesn’t need re-inventing, but it does need some fresh air. The Globe used to be a leader in sports coverage and it used to get flattered with imitations in papers from Beantown to Tinsletown. Now, it’s merely another section in another paper with other priorities.
Fortunately, for the sake of all of us, Scott’s Shots is here to help – the Globies know where to find us.

Hoops
One leftover from the NBA Draft: Word from a reliable Bristol source indicates Fran Fraschilla, who shone in his role on ESPN’s NBA Draft coverage, is close to a multi-year college hoops deal that should include an expanded role for the former coach. Franny deserves some big time games on the road and should be allowed to use his vast insight to add some pizzazz to “College Hoops Tonight.”

Pigskin
Nothing says July 4 quite like the annual Arena Bowl which played out on NBC7 yesterday with that other harbinger of fireworks to come – Hunky Cooper. How long until Building 19 gets the overrun of “Arena Bowl XVIII” t-shirts?. . . Those Rattlers sure are snake-bitten, if that’s biologically possible. . .So, does this mean no more Pat Haden until Notre Dame gets going again? How will we ever survive these two, long months?

Scott’s Shots “Un-Sanctioned” Field Trip
It’s remarkable how much your perspective changes when you go from the booth behind home plate (Scott’s Shots visit to Friday Night baseball - TK/TK/TK) to the 11th row of section 42 behind the visitor’s bullpen. Such was my journey on Saturday with Freewheelin’ Freddy Albany and his dad, Freewheelin’ Fritzy Albany. Our sincere thanks to all the Scott’s Shots diehards who took the time to introduce themselves during our pre-game drink up at The Cask. It’s overwhelming to realize there are so many other 10:30 a.m. revelers who can not only read, but quote items from this very space. You all need to start drinking earlier – and get away from the Internet. . . The hordes of Phillies phans that kept philing into The Cask was, to say the least, disconcerting, but not nearly as offensive as the phine-pheathered Philadelphians on parole, who managed to inundate the bleachers. Just after noon, and just before sipping his adult beverage, Freddy turned to me, looked around at the mass of the masses and said, “Davey? What’s Philly’s motto: How much do ya bench? ” Brutally blunt and eternally earnest, Freddy had an excellent point. For a good two hours, it felt like a meeting of the Philadelphia-area BALCO Users Club. And that was just the women. We swore we witnessed one guy in a XXXXXXXL Tug McGraw shirt eat a plate of nachos in one bite. Plate and all. Still, there’s a bit of simpatico for our Brotherly Love Brothers – they know misery in similar ways that we know misery. Yet, after an unnecessary hailing of (the admittedly gifted) Jim Thome, it only seemed apt to begin chanting: Eeee-Gulls; Eeee-Gulls ala the Darryl chant. The Philly Phreaks shut up pretty quickly in Sections 41-43. . .Freewheelin’ Freddy’s Uncle Danjoined us for a repast at Legal’s Seafood in the theater district and he was never more on than when he called the “Lite Clam Chowder” – no cream, no milk – “worse than dishwater.” I’m firmly in the camp that says Legal’s has lost a step in recent years. It was never Wes Parker’s to begin with, but now it’s a liability to all of New England’s reputation. . . Fritzy Albany, who long ago taught Freddy Albany the importance of being honest, had this bit of advice on widening the audience for this space: “I fell asleep two-thirds of the way through Friday’s column, Dave” said Fritzy. “Can’t you do an older guy’s version?” I promised to try harder to be briefer. He did treat for dinner, after all. . . The other best piece of Fritzdom came during the main course: “Don’t settle.” For what? “Anything.”. . . Uncle Dan got a little discombobulated on the way back form the little boy’s room and wound up in the kitchen, where our trusty waiter, Michael, kindly discovered him and returned him to our table. We were prepared to offer Freddy in exchange, if they needed help prepping the lobsters or ladling the dish water into the chowder bowls. . . Even though Little Mikey’s Mom (sitting a row in front of our gang) groaned when Scott’s Shots offered its feelings toward the “Average Joe schmo who out threw out one of Saturday’s ceremonial first pitches, you know she wanted to join in and boo the squirrelly-looking pencil-necked geek. . . Little Mikey’s Mom finally fell victim to our charms when we enlisted all of Section 42 to sing “Happy Birthday” to Little Mikey during the seventh inning stretch. It was a beautiful moment on a beautiful afternoon at a beautiful park in the year two thousand and four, Ay Dee. . . Below Average Joe joined Geno Auriemma in throwing out what, by our calculations, was the 984th ceremonial pitch of the home slate thus far. . . You don’t see Peabody homey, Brian Glazer over-extending the 15 minutes he got from his “AJ” appearance. That’s because Tanners have pride. Tanner Pride.

Pokey for Vice President
The brief respite from ball has reinvigorated Citizen Pokey and it appears he even considered taking meetings during the Mayor’s Convention. Wally the Green Monster advised against it, as he did for John Kerry.

Rants and Raves
Tank McNamara is now officially a bigger waste of space than soccer scores. . .The Olsen Twin joke from Friday went over real well with our friends who stopped by The Cask for pre-game Bloodies. . . The first Bloody of the day should almost always be the last - “You’ll have a gallon Hunt’s Tomato Paste in your belly, Dave,” said Freewheelin’ Fritzy. . . Joe Kerrigan denied (ie, ignored) my bleacher scream/request to come back and work with Bronson Arroyo. Couldn’t hurt to ask, right?. . .Freewheelin Freddy began his own “Smaaaarrrr-Teeeeee, Smaaaarrrr-Teeeeee” chant as retaliation for one run or another. Nothing like mocking a horse to insult a rival fan. . .Valuable reader, Mary K. , wrote in to tell Scott’s Shots, among other things, that we can do better than (our ex-crush) Krisily Kennedy. We hope Mary K’s as right about that as she is about her other sports media opinions. Thanks for reading, and don’t be afraid to offer up worthy candidates to make me forget the Revere Beach Beauty Queen, runner-up, Krisily. . . Angry Bill appeared on NESN’s pre-game Friday night - is this guy Jimmy Dunn’s dad? They’re both equally awful. The only thing Angry about Bill is me, when he’s part of the show. . . Angry Bill isn’t even angry, really - he’s just ignorant and irrelevant. . . Atta boy, Davey - pounce on the old guy who’s probably living out his lifelong fantasy. AARP will be all over your ass. . . Fritzy, I tried to be brief, but damn, it’s all just too easy. . . And lastly, to the woman who taught me there’s more to life than Larry Bird, a very happy 35th birthday to the best mom a wayward writer could ever have, The Shirl. Somehow, I keep getting closer in age to you - but there’s no need to explain. Enjoy your day - Love, The Youngest. PS - This is the 21st century version of a Hallmark. Pretty cool, eh? No more envelopes to throw away.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com

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