By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Rawhide
Trade deadlines should never be on the weekend. I can’t explain why, but you know I’m right. . . At long last, the Sunday New York Times started what we presume (and hope) will be a series of copycat stories, on the homeless baseball club known simply as the “Aces” (Sunday July 25, NY Times, by Ira Berkow). The Aces play in the same Northeast League as the hottest pro nine in Greater Boston, the North Shore Spirit (first half champs and 8-2 to start the second half). First, the Aces – Allentown had been the Aces home until the owners declared bankruptcy in May. The League’s owners chipped in and bought the Aces and the team without a home travels and travels and never tastes the home-cooking of friendly umps or cheering fans. Classic story – the kind Sports Illustrated once brought us. Next, the Spirit – with all the damn talk about the Brockton Rox because of their Bill Murray association and their loyal fans and yada, yada – it’s the Spirit who deserve the attention as the league’s dominant entry. (Yet Brockton has drawn almost twice as many fans, some 130,000-plus.) And believe us when we tell you that Super Sub, now-Mega Manager John Kennedy is a huge part of the team’s success. It doesn’t hurt that owner and Lynn visionary Nick Loprado also understands the importance of spending money to make money. Playoff tickets, by the way, go on sale Monday at 10 a.m. There will be post-season baseball in Boston, you see? Do you need story lines, is that your damn excuse? Juan Marichal’s nephew is on the team, Monstah Radatz roams the dugout and there’s even an Oglesby - presumably Walter Matthau’s nephew. . . Jeesh. Give the Sox one night off and there I go, right up on the ole soap box crying out for some attention to minor league, unaffiliated baseball. Wait’ll next week’s impassioned plea to support your local farm stand!. . . I’m also preparing for my journey to New Fraser Field at the end of August and figure maybe Loprado could find an adult beverage or 12 with my name on them (friends call me Red Stripe, Nick).

Pigskin
Scott’s Shots got a sneak peak at Metro West’s Mike Reiss’s Patriots coverage for today and Reiss again will point out the possible “ugliness” of Pats holdouts – something the Krafts have not experienced in recent years. Reiss explains it better, so get over to the Metro West link and stop dilly-dallying with this drekh. With the Globe focusing on shark fishing instead of Pats coverage these days and the Herald having to share lead guy, Michael Felger Underwood with all his other media responsibilities – Reiss not only gives the best Pats coverage he does it under the most duress of any of the Pats “major” guys. His time is coming – somewhere and soon. Then, when it does, there will be one very fortunate sports desk. . . Reiss is also reporting that 86 media credentials were issued for yesterday’s camp opener that also saw 5,000 fans look on and, ah, sweat. Aside from the eerie fact that ’86 was the Buckner Year and of course, that 86 plus 1832 equals 1918 and. . . .whoa – wrong team. Sorry DB. Eighty-six media passes for a pre-season practice is fairly absurd. There were seasons when the average fan attendance for an eight-game season hovered near 86!

Bye, Max
You know you’re a TV sports geek when you see the Seasonale ad touting “just four periods a year” and you immediately think: Max Kellerman babbles on using just four periods in an entire year without the use of any medical aids. Shouldn’t he be tested by the FDA, as well?. . . Have we mentioned Exhausted Holley needs to jump ship, and pronto?

Shaughnasty
A valued, valuable reader checked in this week to discuss this particular, regular Scott’s Shots heading and the result was not only some healthy “new journalism” vs. “old journalism” banter, but also a realization that some of the past entries may have suggested that Danny Boy isn’t trying. That’s never been my claim – it’s pretty clear that when you are as omnipresent as DB is, you’re working tons and not sleeping a whole heck of a lot. Hopefully that’s a little more clear. And now that it is, also understand that this site’s name is BOSTON Sports Media and in Boston at this particular historical time, DB is one of the top three media personalities currently in the market (argue amongst yourselves who joins him). (Again, this is a tribute to DB’s longevity, writing ability, diligence and talent – he’s made himself the same way many of his hard-working colleagues have.) As that preeminent media personality, this space holds DB to a high standard and when there is the perception on my part that this standard isn’t met, I point it out – usually quite loudly with bells and whistles and instruments of destruction. Schtick? Doubtful. Reader-friendly and response-generating: Definitely. A lot of it, as my discussion with the valued, valuable reader illuminated, is my own “Journalism in the Age of the Internet” philosophies that sometimes run counter to the rigid way newspaper journalism still envisions (and runs) itself. On the make-believe Scott’s Shots Sports Desk, the columnists would need to file two columns at each event: one for first edition and one upon completion of the event that would immediately post to the Scott’s Shots make-believe web-site upon the make-believe columnist’s completion (usually within an hour of event’s end). The post-game column would have a link to the early edition column and the early edition column would encourage readers to check out the website story for the post-gamer. As it stands now, only the most progressive, experimental papers use their websites in effective, business-generating means – the Green Boxers are not one of them. (Of course writers would bitch at the Scott’s Shots desk editor because they have to file twice, but with all the writing and re-writing that goes on during the course of a late game, columnists are essentially doing that anyway. Oh, and “Scott’s Shots in Toyland Sports Desk” pays well enough that everyone is happy and amenable. “Writers First,” that’s our non-existent motto.) Where were we? Oh yes – explaining why we bash DB with such regularity: Bottom line, DB is an easy target because of the persona he has developed and cultivated. Obviously he TRIES, and his longevity is proof positive that people still want to read him and the big wigs still want to employ him. Largely because of those two factors, Scott’s Shots will continue to poke and prod at DB’s missives in the same manner we do to Babbling Bob Lobel, Press Release Bill Griffith or any of the WEEI afternoon drive-time Gargantuan Gigglers. In fact, we’ll now do it with an even clearer conscience, proving that valued, valuable readers CAN have an impact.

DNC-Friendly Sports Talk
Of course the convention is over – the DNC ran out of awful 80s music to play in between speakers. . .The overwhelming number of speakers who called the faux-Fleet a “great hall,” had clearly never seen the recent Celtics teams play. The Garden – now THAT was a great hall. Curry Hicks Cage in Amherst – another great hall. But the Bank of America-to-be Building (the BAB) is NOT a great hall. It’s a mediocre venue, at best. . . Hail this week’s Globe letter-writer who praised CSPAN for its constant, un-commentated, convention coverage. There was also some good CSPAN Classic moments from past conventions. After the Sox lost on Wednesday, we even caught Walter Mondale’s 1984 speech. I still think he’s going to win it when he starts screaming “Why? Why?” He mentions both Nicaragua and the Soviet Union and you start to think: Gee, it was a simpler time. Five minutes later, Mondale appears on the floor of the faux-Fleet along with The Duke. And of course, the chants went up for “Fritz, Fritz, Fritz”. . .”Send me! Send me!” – who’s writing this stuff?, 3rd graders wanting to run a note down to the main office?. . .Hey, you don’t have to be a Wolf Blitzer to know this Obama is THE Bomb, or Bahm. Now, if only he can get elected. . . Alas, the Wonkette never reached out to Scott’s Shots despite our repeated good will offerings. I’m starting to think my politico matchmaker Charlie Pierce sold me up the river and told her some cockamamie UMass story where I wind up disorderly, disheveled and walking Route 9 to Belchertown in my underwear. It simply didn’t happen that way Wonkette – that’s not my bag, baby! I swear. . .I do have a lot of nerve, after all the legitimate coverage and commentary offered this past week, to add my amateur opinion. But then again, Mo Rocca was working with Larry King on CNN. It can’t be that hard. . . “Tanner ‘88″ is coming back and something tells me it’s going to catch on BIG! In fact, I’m a Tanner from way back. A Peabody Tanner, and damn proud of it!. . .At certain points during my week, at Dunkin Donuts drive-thru, for instance, I just started singing “We Are Family” for no apparent reason. The power of that song can not be underestimated. . . All right, I answered my own question: I’m going with Kerry Cuties over the Bush Beauties in my quest to get in the First Family. Diverting from my entire life’s path, I’m taking the mature over the party-hearty; the brains over the babes; the “Women Gone Sexy” over the “Girls Gone Wild.”; the. . . I can stop now. . .Did anybody find out where the Black Eyed Peas stood on stem cell research? Ooh, how Iowa delegation seemed a bit awkward during “Let’s Get It Started.” They were probably waiting for an NBA game to follow the ESPN playoff anthem. . .If Hope is on the Way, she better get here quick. I ordered those drinks hours ago. . . The only thing better than Roll Callis the part when Dan Rather asks where he is, exactly. . . Red Sox Nation casts its 121 votes for Randy Johnson. . . I can’t confirm it yet, but I think that crossed-hands-over-heart sign that Teresa Heinz Kerry keeps flashing is gang-related. . .I admit it. I have a crush on more than a few of those yummy-mummy delegates – not to mention the governess from Michigan. . . Last night’s post-midnight fireworks were heard loud and clear in Hull - Percy the Dog was not too appreciative. Good Doggie. Bad Democrats.

Rants and Raves
Despite some angry outcries from the Scott’s Shots burgeoning fandom, there will be no Monday edition due to the monumental Alice Cooper visit to Cohasset on Sunday eve. When the choice is a live version of “Only Women Bleed” and Christian Fauria’s hostile takeover of Sports Xtra, it’s Cooperstown over Fauriaville EVERY time. Check in midweek for a possible bonus piece featuring a Scott’s Shot’ “Stump the Schwab” serenade. . . Why do I always have to explain myself to you?. . .The Bruins signed Tom Fitzgerald this week. You mean to tell me Fitzy wasn’t already on that damn team? No wonder they stink. Give me a Fitzy, a Sully and a Murph and we’ll win our share of Cups – and fights, too. . .Little Irish humor there for the remaining delegates being scraped off the floor at Mr. Dooley’s. Doesn’t make you bad people, that’s for sure. . .Was it really necessary for ESPN to hire Mike Jarvis? We think not. But we still have some bitterness over the Calipari-Jarvis days. John Chaney got all the attention, but Jarvis was the more apt thorn in Cal’s side. . . Yeah, I’m ready for college hoops and it’s only college football season. But that’ll do too. . .And for those of you who truly need to get out more, there is the event of Robbie Knievel attempting to jumps six planes on the deck of the USS Intrepid – using only steroids. Or his motorcycle, perhaps. If he lands in the water, we expect the Navy to shoot first, ask questions later. . . The Tuesday Heraldo handicapped The Simpsons characters most likely to come out during a planned gay marriage episode in January. But Scott’s Shots has learned the true identity and he wasn’t even suggested by the writer Mark A. Perigard. It’s always the neighbor in these type of plot lines and thus, the gay man is most assuredly, Ned Flanders. . . Simpsons haters need not have read that last nugget.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com

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