By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

A gargantuan offering to make up for one day’s tardiness. Always thinking of you, the reader, aren’t I?

Rawhide
As if the Sox run isn’t enough to create karma out of late-summer Sundays on the beach, WEEI trotted in Walpole Joe Morgan for some in-game chatter. You’ll laugh when I say this, but that guy deserves a shot as a Bob Cousy-esque third-man-in for at least a handful of Sox telecasts or audiocasts. He’s irresistible, I’m telling you. Six, two and even. . .The Son of Super Skip John Kennedy’s North Shore Spirit Gala and 40th Birthday Celebration provided more than just the basis for an incredible run-on sentence, it also offered innings of good fun from under Fraser Field’s perfect, Pesky Perch. The Rapidly Aging Son, Scott was feted with veggie burgers (Thanks, Kristen!), chicken, hot dogs, meat burgers and a potato salad that had me asking The Shirl if they stole her recipe. Despite a close loss at the hands of the Quebec club, there was plenty of good Spirit and City of Win vibe going on. No matter the final score, the Spirit are guaranteed start playoff baseball on September 8 and Scott’s Shots can’t think of a better way to prime the Patriots pump for the following night’s season-opener, than with a look at the most consistent pro team in Boston (non-Pats division). Kennedy, Rich Gedman and Monsta Dick Radatz could be the best baseball coaching troika since Joe Torre, Don Zimmer and Don Zimmer’s head. . .Now, lest you think I’m a suck-up, if Terry Francona’s son would invite me to a birthday party at the park and ply me with Cracker Jack and Amstel Light, I’d be happy to heap praise on his managerial father as well. See how easy sportswriting can be, boys and girls?

Pigskin
Robert Loggia’s Sunday NFL Countdown spots for ESPN are the best Hollywood/Sports World combos since the Bristol Boys had Robert Goulet crooning for NCAA hoops. . .The “Follow the Path to Wisdom” campaign for college football, on the other hand, seems to lend credence to the theory that Lee Corso left this world many seasons ago. . . I don’t know about you, but I like having Deion Sanders back on the other side of the microphone. He’s no Deion Branch, but he’s close. Sanders’s quote-of-the-return-to-this-point came on ESPN yesterday: “I’ve been sweet for a long time.” You gotta hear him say it, to fully appreciate it, but he’s so right - he has been sweet for a LONG time. . . Mark Cuban shilled his “The Benefactor” during the half of last night’s Dallas-Tennessee ABC telecast and Al Michaels did his best to cover up the self-promotion and try and ask some pertinent questions including: what Cuban thought of Team USA’s performance (Not assembled for International ball) and whether Dallas could have gotten Shaq (No). More importantly for “Monday Night Football,” as Michaels astutely alluded to, the Cuban knockoff of Trump will be a good lead-in for the once-proud property known as MNF. “Get us good ratings, would you please?” Michaels requested of Cuban. “I promise,” said The Benefactor. Cuban will be, if memory serves correctly, the best lead-in to MNF since “That’s Incredible!” in the early 1980s. . . I’m about two-thirds of the way through Warren St. John’s new book, “Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer,” (Crown, August 2004) but it’s not too soon to be recommending this one in a big, BIG Scott’s Shots way. We’ll furnish you with a review pending our completion, but trust us: this one completely (and comically) captures what college football in the South means to its fans. Something us Northerners (especially in New England) will NEVER comprehend.

Trending
Looking for the start of the next cable TV war? Take a look at what College Sports TV (and its many media platforms) is in the process of doing. Last week, CSTV and the Mountain West Conference announced an $82 million deal that will run seven years, beginning in 2006. MWC’s current deal, according to the New York Times, is seven years at $48 million. At first blush, it would seem CSTV is over-paying, but a key to the deal would appear to be CSTV’s commitment to a significant Internet component AND video-on-demand capabilities. Just a year and a half old, it is clearly CSTV’s biggest and boldest move onto ESPN’s turf, despite involving what is, at best, a lower tier, high major league in the MWC. The conference does have teams that are seemingly always in the mix for either basketball or football, including: UNLV, Utah, Brigham Young and Air Force and furthermore, any time you take away an ESPN property (except for the NHL) you’re probably gaining something worthwhile. And lastly, try and comprehend this Griff and the Globe Graybeards, the speed of the Internet is now still in its relative infancy - as the Web (and PCs) get faster, video on the computer becomes a more palatable viewing option for displaced Alums and diehard fans - especially those with disposable income.

Sunday Night Shows, Delayed Version
Although one of our perceptive readers figured we’d just followed through on our previous threat to watch “West Wing” during the usual Sunday Night show hour, Scott’s Shots was mainly spending the last remaining hours of summer with his favorite Backgammon Partner. Even with that distraction at my side, I was able to catch bit and pieces of Chris Collins’s stellar Sunday Sports Latenight on NECN. Collins, who has time and again proven to be deft at lining up important and noteworthy guests, came through again with an extended on-set chat with Jason Varitek. Even though Collins is still fine-tuning his interview style (Varitek was quite puzzled, for instance, by a delayed follow-up question Collins sputtered out at one point) his guests are trusting enough to speak from their heart. Especially Varitek, who wouldn’t know another way. When the subject turned to talk Tek’s alleged spat with Curt Schilling earlier this season, Tek was fired up enough to call out the (unnamed) reporter for never having returned to the clubhouse since the “story” “broke.” The catcher said it was the “most unprofessional” thing he has seen. (If this is the incident we’re thinking of, it’s Jon Heyman from New York’s Newsday who Tek must be referring to. If so, in terms of selling papers, it sounds like a good time for Newsday to send Heyman to Fenway for a follow-up visit, wouldn’t you say? That’s how the Post would handle it. Not to mention the National Enquirer. And, you know, it’s been pretty boring since all this winning started. It’s a good thing Tek brought this up again - we’re fired up just thinking about it!) Maybe even more telling was when Tek attempted diplomacy pertaining to his contract status and his re-signability, but managed only to utter words that dripped with an “us versus them” attitude as it pertained to players vs. management go. “I think ‘they’ have a plan. I hope they do,” Tek told Collins. . . Fair is fair, and thus it’s necessary to suggest that “Sports Latenight’s” Ronnie Lippett experiment be halted ASAP. Collins is not skilled enough to cover up for the former Pats’ defensive back’s TV shortcomings the way, say, Tom Caron is with NESN’s sub-par, former Sox players who serve as analysts. (Then again, Caron has more practice, now doesn’t he?)

Scott’s Shots Hits the Road
A business trip to Philly mid-week will afford Scott’s Shots the chance to drink in some Philly Media Phlavor at the very time when the Phillies are doing their usual El Pholdo and the Eagles are attempting to reel in their usual array of misguided believers (who will be crushed like soulless gnats come January). . . In addition to drinking the Philly Phlavor, it’s a good bet we’ll also be drinking in some of the Drexel Dragon basketball concoction which should include the “Side-of-Truth philosophies of Professor Brian Gorman (formerly of the U of Mass) and Professor Tony Chiles (formerly of the I of Ona). The co-professors’ syllabus calls for “hilarity, followed by some bitterness, topped of with more hilarity.”

Between the Lines of Internet Pages
The folks in Sunnyvale, Calif. who bring us all that Yahoo! has to offer were screaming their company name loud and clear last week. We knew it wasn’t for the dreadful Olympic media coverage provided Yahoo! Sports Ken Murrah (take your TV listings grid, add a verb or two, and that was Murrah’s “exclusive” content for the Games). So, we took a look at the Nielsen Net Rankings for the last weekly ranking period and discovered Yahoo! had struck gold with a solid trouncing over the category leader, ESPN.com. (Again, as with TV ratings, Scott’s Shots doesn’t hold the numbers to be The Gospel; instead we use them as a guideline to what the people are clicking on, for how long and other such criteria. It would be ludicrous to think that Yahoo! Sports is more recognizable than ESPN.com. Still, the fact is, Yahoo! can lure all its traffic (sports fans and non-) to various areas of its mammoth operation. Even with Yahoo!-powered searches, ESPN.com is NOT getting the non-sports fan who just needs look up a “ceviche recipe”. They just don’t. Simply put, Yahoo! has a bigger recruiting pool.)
All that said, it still may be surprising to realize Yahoo!, Sports, for the second straight week, took the No. 1 slot ahead of a list that includes ESPN.com, SI.com, FOX Sports (now with MSN, which previously had been aligned with ESPN.com), AOL Sports and, yes, even Ebay sports (sounds like the kind of site that might employ bargain basement Scott’s Shots, wouldn’t you think? Each week we could auction off my best column to the highest bidder. Do I hear a quarter? How ’bout 20 cents?)
A few things to note on the wildly shifting balance of where folks get their sports information on the ‘Net:
1. The ratings themselves count and distinguish “Home Users” from “Work Users.” This leads to the inevitable question of where someone like Scott’s Shots falls: I work out of my home. Computers scare me even more than first though if they know when I’m home or at work.
2. ESPN.com conceded a good portion of Olympic coverage because of NBC’s Games “ownership.” Or, put another way, it was the uniquely unreadable Jim Caple they sent to Greece. NOT the inimitably entertaining Sports Guy, who would’ve driven traffic with his “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” jokes alone. Caple delivered not one iota of worthwhile material, and yet all the while he was able to brag about his blatant abuses of the company expense account. Just the type of guy I want covering the Games for me, how about you, Don Skwar?
3. Yahoo! INVESTED in their coverage by getting any former Olympian that could write a sentence on board for its coverage. They had (if you cared) Kerri Strug, Mike Powell, Janet Evans and maybe even Wilma Rudolph if memory serves. Their thinking was: Our staff is made up of one writer, so let’s offset that shortcoming by providing “Insider” information. To its credit, even with the useless Murrah giving his “producer’s knowledge”, the site was able to provide some unique perspective into the games behind the Games. Yahoo! wanted it more than anyone else and they got it.
4. Fantasy Football too, has a part in this numbers surge. Months ago, Yahoo! pawned off some PR on a big New York firm in an effort to boost its fantasy football traffic. The flacks were offering up the very quotable Cris Carter and Craig James for any and all fantasy-related stories.
5. One more thing on Caple: The guy got taken scalping a hoops ticket because he had no idea what the market was and probably figured he’d get a good column out of the adventure. The end result? He got ripped off by a German entrepreneur and his (supposedly humorous) column failed to provide one laugh. Never has ticket scalping seen such justice. Except that Caple is probably making Disney foot the bill.

Olympics Wrap Up
It’s no secret that Scott’s Shots wasn’t a big fan of the Globe’s Olympic coverage, but that discomfort with the Green Boxers’ approach and over-commitment did lead to one beneficial thing: It gave us more time to surf the web for worthwhile Greece Games coverage. Herewith as a result of some extra surfing (and www.sportspages.com suggestions), “The Top XXVIII Minus XX, Most-Consistent Writers” over the close to three weeks of coverage.
VIII. Stephen Harris, Boston Herald: Harris was a virtual one man wrecking crew in Athens. He gave comparable coverage to that displayed in the Globe at a fraction of the cost. We sense he’s probably quite insane at this moment, but once he decompresses and discovers the Sox are less than five behind the Yanks, he can be very proud of the efforts he put forth.
VII. John Powers, Boston Globe: All that said, Boston’s best all-around Olympic representative (non-Wendi Nix division, of course) was Powers. He works the beat all year and his diligence pays off every two years. Send him and a columnist (Jackie Mac for ’06’s Winter Games?) and use AP for everything else and the Globe would then be using it resources in an understandable manner.
VI. Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: He’s not going to get us to watch “Around the Horn,” but Mariotti can bring it with humor and insight. His lead following the Team USA loss to Argentina read, in part: “The death of American basketball came pathetically, as we knew it would. While giddy Argentines hugged and Eurofans reveled in America’s misery, Larry Brown raised his arms and wondered why his lunkheads had stopped playing defense.
V. Scott’s Shots, BostonSportsMedia.com: I’m not proud. Griff Gruff gave you Olympic pabulum direct from NBC’s press office for three weeks, while we gave stirring insight and The Shirl. Not to mention we never once used an improper or vulgar Inga Hammond joke. We’re maturing beyond our years.
IV. Ian O’Connor, The Journal News (Westchester)/USA Today: O’Connor is sort of the thinking man’s sports columnist. His Israeli gold medal piece last week stands out as a prime example. He doesn’t kill you with drama, but he gives you the straight skinny with style and substance. (They’re may be a shampoo that does that very same thing now that I think of it.)
III. Adrian Wojnarowski, Bergen Record and ESPN.com: We often sing Woj’s praises here, but the big event is this guy’s specialty. He also is the master of using prior meetings or interviews to help lend perspective to current topics and trends.
II. Mike Vaccaro, New York Post:(widely picked up by the Herald - thankfully) : Vaccaro really distinguished himself these past weeks. He’s a classic Post writer with a New Yorkers’ edge and a Bostonians sensibility. The anti-Lupica, if you will. Of the many Larry Brown condemnation pieces, Vaccaro might have penned the best for his August 27 piece when he wrote of the Team USA/Spain game: “Fingers were pointed. Words exchanged. Do you want some of me?” Brown asked. Beautiful. So this is what it’s going to be from now on with this American basketball team, a never-ending carnival freak show. Just as the American players begin to reclaim forfeited respect. . . their coach stepped into the breach and made sure to earn all those boos. Brown can’t help himself. No matter what he does at these Olympics, he comes off as either boorish or belittling, even in what should have been a moment of great personal satisfaction. His players no longer allow him to bemoan what underachieving louts they are, so he uncovers a new way to embarrass himself.”
I. Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports: No, I don’t do PR for Yahoo! on the side, wiseass. In his rookie performance at the Games, Wetzel delivered with nearly every post from Greece. He was way ahead of just about everyone on the Iraqi soccer storyline and his expedition on the high seas to “cover” sailing was Dave Barry funny. So was his compilation “Top 20″ that ran yesterday at www.sports.yahoo.com. Maybe it was because we read Wetzel with the most attention and interest, but more likely its that Wetzel brought freshness and enthusiasm to his laptop every day, for every column. OPA!
One additional note: Basketball Bob Ryan is the most blatant omission from the above listed names. I realize that. I’ll also suggest that Ryan’s wrap-up column in Monday’s Globe was his best offering of the Olympics. (Bravo, BTW, to the editor(s) for allowing Ryan to expand on his thoughts a bit with ample space.) However, I’ll stand behind my earlier claim that Ryan was misused more times than not during his Grecian Days and you could almost hear a bit of that very regret in his words when he wrote: “I only saw Michael Phelps once and I never saw Paul Hamm. . . I got myself to 11 sports. . . That’s 11 of 28. Not bad. I promise to increase that total in Beijing.”. . . Ryan also vowed to never be seen at “synchronized swimming or rhythmic gymnastics,” which is puzzling, in that he was seen at team handball. As Scott’s Shots sees it, if there is going to be coverage of the “joke sports” it might as well be of wet chicks or bouncing ones. Wasn’t that the “Man Show’s” motto?

Shirl on the Olympics
The Shirl has enlisted the help of long-time letter writer, The Baze, in composing her official complaint which she plans on sending to USA Basketball, Larry Brown and David Stern. “Basil? Is it too harsh to call Brown a “pig-headed, soresport who disgraced our country, the game of basketball and several nights of my summer TV viewing?”
In true Baze fashion, and without the slightest hint of irony, my dad replied “What? I didn’t hear you, Shirley.”
The Baze and The Shirl: writing the letters to the people who need them most.

Rants and Raves
There haven’t been this many blue-suited, red-tied, bandwagon Republicans in Madison Garden since the last Knicks playoff run. . .All New York needed to do was set up a chicken coop near the Garden the way Menino did with his Gitmo North Station hen pen - then there’d be no protestors marching. . .Something to note before all the “equal time” screamers start ripping Scott’s Shots for uneven coverage of the two parties’ conventions: We don’t give equal time to anyone except The Shirl AND if the Elephant People had gathered in Boston, they would have been given the very same over-coverage the Donkey Heads got earlier this summer. . .On that note, Scott’s Shots’ latest Election poll is revealing that our latest poll is looking very similar to the latest poll. . . ABC’s Peter Jennings’ John McCain interview left us wondering just what promises G Dub is making to this guy for Term No. 2. For McCain to put on the happy face and support Bush is akin to Roger Clemens endorsing the candidacy of Dan Duquette. . . If the RNC is really going to start its own network, as the uncut C-SPAN coverage last night seemed to suggest, they absolutely have to get a better logo for the microphone ID thingie. This one looks like it was done in crayon by George Dub himself. . . With our midweek Philly trip and the Labor Day weekend beginning roughly at midnight Thursday evening, Scott’s Shots will not be seen again until next Monday, Labor Day 2004. So, come on back and wake up with Jerry Lewis, Ed McMahon and Scott’s Shots – Your Newest Labor Day Tradition.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com

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