By David Scott
BSMW Columnist

Sunday Night Shows
Listen, I’m dedicated and diligent in filing this column as regularly as possible, but there is no way you’re getting us to wait for a NASCAR-delayed airing of the nearly unbearable, Joe Amateurino’s return to the NBC7 “Sports Xtra” tabletop alongside Christian Fauria. The show has been absent for three weeks because of the Olympics - let’s make it an even month. Labor Day Eve is supposed to be family time anyway. . . NECN’sChris Collins brought in Steve Nelson for Pats talk and fellow Peabodian, John Tudor for Sox chat – neither of whom are going to be mistaken for a Charles Barkley caliber ex-player. Collins did manage a David Ortiz one-on-one taped prior to Big Papi’s big Sunday. Good timing, nothing revelatory in the “Q and A”. . On CBS4’s “Sports Final” Babbling Bob Lobel complained about the Yankees (he’s trying out Hankies or Pankies, it would appear) getting five in a row with Tampa. YAWN. YAWN. YAWN. . .Lobel also did the no-tease, tease when he said leading up to the start of “SF”, “We think we’ve got a good show lined up - you’ll have to stay around to find out.” Was that a threat? Cuz “West Wing’ is on, ya know. . .Lobel also had a Jerry Remy interview where Lobel suggested how wonderful it is that the Sox are winning. Yawn, Yawn, Yawn, or did we say that before?. . .Lobel shilled the Leigh Montville-scripted, “Beyond the Headlines” Boston Globe DVD and we wondered immediately: How can they make their own DVDs when they don’t even know how to use the Internet properly?. It appears to be minutes upon minutes of Danny Boy and his Globe brethren (sisters) giving “SportsCentury” type vignettes on monumental sports moments. How original. . . .“Red Sox This Week” featured Dan Roche and Johnny Damon playing video games and assessing other Sox players video abilities. While that would play better on a Sox Kids Show (and not one aired after 10 p.m.), Rochey did probe enough to get Damon’s take on the Old Bickering Sox vs. the new Fun Bunch Sox. Rochey also got knocked out in the video game and was able to say he felt “like you after the Damien (Jackson) collision last year.” Good concussion humor, that. . . Rochey also let us know that “Cowboy Up” is making a comeback courtesy of reborn media darling, Kevin Millar.

Rawhide
Readers (and non-readers alike) of this space know all-too-well of our affinity for the North Shore Spirit and their Super Skip, Peabody-ite John Kennedy. It’s a sickness, we know. But check out this vivid scene from last week’s Spirit visit to Bangor, where Kennedy went “Positively Piniella” and the team’s own website headlined the post-gamer with “Spirit Routed” - Thursday, September 2, 2004 Bangor, ME—The North Shore Spirit is reeling in a downward spiral over the last two weeks of the season and last night’s 11-3 loss to Bangor may have been rock bottom. Not to sound harsh but the Spirit team is not getting the job done. Lost is the small-ball execution that turns losses into wins. The frustration reared its ugly head last night when three North Shore coaches including Manager John Kennedy, Pitching coach Dick Radatz and Assistant coach Tom Donahue were all expelled from the game for arguing with plate umpire Richard Katz and third-base ump Bill Patterson. The sixth-inning incident was fueled by Katz’s inconsistent command of the strike-zone. Kennedy gave him the “what was that?” that escalated into a dirt kicking duel between the two. When first-base ump Jamie Guerriero stepped in the Spirit manager kicked dirt on him too. Kennedy settled his issue when he covered home-plate with dirt before departing. Radatz and Donahue where both ejected after Katz refused to brush off home-plate. It was not the first time this year the Spirit coaches have had a problem with this particular umpiring crew.” Not sound harsh? It’s the damn PR arm of the club and the un-identified author is killing his/her own team. Who’s running this club, Steinbrenner? .. . . Its beauty was missed by most, but folkie (not Foulkie)Ellis Paul’s “Star Spangled Banner” prior to Pedro on Friday was all-time great-level. If he’d lose the mullet, he might reach Neil Young at The Real Garden During The Gulf War, Great. . . Old Buddy, the former Kevie Peabody and now Kevie Jersey, treated his “three” children to luxury box treatment at Fenway on Friday night. Using his business acumen (and love of all things gratis), the former Garth Brooks Fan Club president was able to secure entrance into The Parthenon Capital firm’s first-baseline box. . . Supervising the excursion was soon-to-be kindergartener, Jared Jersey, who despite taking Uncle Scott’s Shots couch/nap spot during the 8th, was quite mindful of his trio of Umies who thought they were back at Smellano’s or Time-Out. They weren’t – but all that drooling and female rejection sure made it seem like they were. . .If there’s anybody who needs clarification on any of that, you clearly have never been to Belchertown. . .These are the days I wonder: “Who actually reads this crap?”. . . Jerry “Troop” Trupiano was overestimating his WEEI and Sox Network audience on Saturday when he began giving college football scores during the broadcast. . .And then, in a truly UTrupian moment, the punster read expired ad copy for Foxwoods, followed shortly thereafter by the winning one-liner, “Sometimes I feel like the Lone Ranger.” Hi Ho, Silver!. . .Someone keep an eye on the CVS and Brooks circulars please, Keith Foulke in October is going to be all about tropical flavor Tums. And bourbon.

Between the Lines of Pages
Despite the blatant conflict of interest inherent with recommending a product upon whose pages I appear, it is necessary to alert you to the launch of Boston Sports Review magazine. Make your own judgment on the content, but Scotts Shots is here to tell you the CONCEPT is not only timely but totally relevant. Starting off monthly is prudent and the distribution model follows that of the widely-successful – and also Scott’s Shots-contributed-Metro newspaper (the choice of T-riders everywhere). Veteran newsguy and ideas man, Jerry Spar heads up the editorial side and his connections are deep and talented. Like every start-up, it will need to feel its way and take some lumps, but the dream for a weekly Boston sports mag isn’t as far-fetched as the Old Media guys might lead you to believe. Patriots Football Weekly is not only a model for sports organizations (HELLO RED SOX AND DR. CHUCK, I’M STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU) but also for the publishing world at large. What’s to stop a guy like Bob Kraft from buying into some media the way the media (The New York Times Co. ) has bought into athletics? His interest in such a venture could be limited, but his community connections and potential advertisers’ pool is limitless. . .Scott’s Shots fave, Charlie Pierce delivered once again with his Sunday Globe magazine, cover piece on Mike Vrabel. The choice, however, still seems odd in that Vrabel isn’t the type of character say, Adam Vinatieri was for Pierce’s quintessential piece on the kicker. Pierce’s Vrabel profile would have fit better in the sports section and we’re guessing it lost many of the Sunday Globe Mag’s female readership. Their loss, of course, because Pierce could make oatmeal interesting. . . And just what’s a chifforobe, Charlie? My spellcheck underlines it in red. And my dictionary goes straight from chiffon to chiff off the old block. . . Expect some Globe vacancies to be filled this week and then cross your fingers for some design and editorial-plotting adjustments. Joe Sullivan probably hasn’t had a moment to even celebrate his new position, never mind think about what he wants to do to HIS page. But the time is now to fill the holes and move forward. We’re already skeptical of sliding Bob Hohlerto takeout/feature writer, so it’s going to take some bold decisions on other fronts to impress Scott’s Shots. And after all, isn’t that what Boston-area sports media should always be striving toward?.

College Pigskin
Since No. 3 LSU and Oregon State was ESPN’s No.1 game of the day on Saturday (complete with Chris, Kirk and Of Corso), we’re going to go under the assumption that Ron Franklin and analyst Mike Gottfried are the Network’s choice for its No. 1 duo. If this is the case, we urge the Bristol Braintrust to reconsider. Franklin has lost a step, but remains as a prominent voice and worthy of his spot. Gottfried, however, has never been worse. The silence between the partners at key moments throughout Saturday night’s OT game was deafening and Gottfried stumbled and bumbled more times than the Oregon State kicker who missed three extra points.

Shaughnasty
Just a few more suggestions for Danny Boy’s weak Friday attempt to name this Red Sox edition ala the 1967 Impossible Dream team: “The Shaughnasty Boys,” “The Royalties Rooters” (DB’s Curse books will officially become scrap paper once the Sox win a World Series, mind you), “I Got One Free Column Out of Trying to Come Up With a Name for Dese Bums” or the “Hey, I Actually Like This Bunch“. . . By the way, it seems the ’67 Impossible Dream record was in fact dubbed over to CD (with an assist from the late Ken Coleman) and is available through a guy in Scituate. Drop me an email and I’ll get you his digits, and if you buy one for yourself at $20, you’ll be able to purchase one for Scott’s Shots at that same reasonable cost.

Scott’s Shots Hits the Road
The SS Philly Excursion of last week came on what might have been the best sports talk radio of the calendar year. Beginning the journey in Boston and passing through New York allowed unfettered blabbing about the Sox chasing Yankees and the Yankees losing 22-0 the night before. The only downside was that WFAN, 660-AM’s Mike Francesca was on vacation, leaving the Doggie, Chris Russo, to revel alone in his glory. . . By far, the most informed and radio-worthy callers are owned by The Fan. Boston’s array of callers is far, far below the standard of 660’s. The good news is, our get-a-lifers are miles beyond the GALs from Philly. Not only do the Cheese Steak Heads need others to dial for them, they need a third helper to get the quarter into the slot on the pay phone. . .FAN guests are also a bit more willing to stir the pot. Case in point would be New York Post columnist, Joel Sherman who, before noon on Wednesday, said the embarrassing loss hearkened back to the Stump Merrill days even before this “Good Yankee” era began in 1993. At least for this day, Sherman sounded entirely Bostonesque, even questioning what former Sox Paul Quantrill and Tom Gordon have left in the tank. In summary, and in full knowledge of how much easier his writing gig has recently become, Sherman said, “It sure got interesting in a hurry, didn’t it?”. . . Mad Dog’s show opened with a version of “Cleveland Rocks” cut into the numerous John Sterling calls of Indian runs from the night before. Doggie’s laughter in the background completed the montage to perfection. “It’s Wednesday in the Big Apple, and the Indians are still at bat,” Russo blurted out during his famous ‘Goooooooood Afternooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon Everybody. . .’ intro. “Nothing is sweeter than this – the Red Sox are coming!. . . Somewhere near Philly, on 920 AM, we also caught the dreadfully cliched Jim Rome who said the Yankees then-seven and half game erasure, is a “Red Sox-like choke,” thus alienating his two most vocal listeners in one very calculated swat. His act’s old and tired, not to mention tired and old.

Rants and Raves
When did Syracusedrop football? I say let Boeheim coach the pigskinners too – he used to let Donovan McNabb play both. . . I remember when the Jerry Lewis Telethon wasn’t about supporting Jerry himself. I’ll still cry at the end of it all on Monday night, don’t get me wrong. . . A Sunoco on the Pennsylvania Turnpike was offering up Donovan McNabb bobbleheads at $7.99. Chances are they’ll be $3.99 three months hence. . . Globe Metro columnist, Brian McGrory submitted his best offering in many months with last Tuesday’s “Brown eyes of wisdom” entry. Dog people would cherish it and cat people would relate to it. . . The “Survivor” ads for the upcoming season seem to indicate that casting agents are now heavily involved in the process and costuming is becoming par for the course. Is nothing sacred?

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com

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