By David Scott
Boston Sports Media

9:03

• It might be better to just watch Deadwood and join the pennant race sometime in August. Who can handle this stuff 18 more times?
• Griff Gruff of the Globe, reported this morning that Rudy Martzke is retiring, which means it’s officially time for Scott’s Shots to throw

its name into the mix for Rudy’s spot at USA Today. if anyone has Gannett connections and feels like helping out a brother, please contact me below.

Further, if anyone knows the decision maker’s favorite kind of whiskey, also let me know.
No bribe is too small for that Dream Job – and we’d kick it up a notch or two, trust us.
• Don’t laugh, but I am channel-surfing over to the Women’s Final Four and it LSU has been upset by Baylor. And I’m mildly interested – probably because I

know there’s a chance to see Stacey Dales-Scott. Sure enough, there she is smiling in a pink top under her gray blazer.
• Our quite demented and quite hilarious International Correspondent, Iona’s Mike Laprey, checked in with another sports of all sorts report form Down

Under. You all think I’m shot? This guys is Internationally Shot – and admits as much: “I am internationally shot. . . and internationally finding a spot

to watch ESPN International for the sake of the World Champions.
(Naughty Word) David Beckham, this is Johnny Damon’s world. . . Ok, never thought I’d be this excited to hear Joe Morgan speak.
Shot! Oi!,
ML”
This is what happens when the give SIDs time off in strange lands. He’ll probably be doing press releases for Australian Rule Football by the time he’s ready to leave – and pitching them to the New York-area papers.

10:01

• Okay, I hate these guys again.
• Wells is bringing the baggy look to all new levels and we love him for it.
• In honor of the ongoing St. Louis Runyon’s Party being missed tonight by Scott’s Shots, we’ve decided to run an exorbitant tab at Chateau Shots and

submit it along with our taxes next year. Uncle Sam would be disappointed if I didn’t do as much.
Here’s to Cav and the boys of the Retired Irish Bouncepassers Association! Cheers. . .
• You just know that Tony Soprano got Dr. Melfi her Yankees’ tickets. Tony’s so smooth; even when he’s off the air for ages, he’s still got it.

Hope his punk-ass son, Anthony, got bleacher tix.
• Wells should hit Giambi every at-bat for the entire season. Just a thought.
• Cousin Bill surprised us with Fenway Opening Day ducats for myself, Richie Hopedale and Bro-in-Lou – a Pats Season Ticket Holders

party if ever there was one. Now that Tom Werner suggested to Rochey for fans to “get there by 2 ” for the festivities, we’re starting to

regret saying yes to Bill. We’re going to need to wake up by Noon or even earlier one week hence. Ugh.
• For those of you just tuning in, The Pope has died.
• UPN38’s use of the virtual ad board was fairly effective, but the Boring and Idiot furniture ad was barely legible.
• I don’t know about you, but neither Robin Hamilton nor Ted Wayman is going to get me to tune into UPN38 at any early morning hour – or

late morning, or early afternoon or. . .
• Mike Myers? Didn’t we used to have him? Cue Lobel. . .