By David Scott
Boston Sports Media

Some 23-odd Hours After the City of Champions First Pitch

• We’re not ones to brag, but we too executed an almost flawless Ring Day ’05. Kilroy’s by noon, sausage by two and Bruschi by three. Postgame didn’t go quite as smoothly, if only because the sausage was so foreign to our Flexitarian system. Still, not even an Excedrin headache could tarnish the day that was, finally and officially and in front of all the Yankees to see, The Last Day of the Woe is Us Era. . .

• Made the mistake of listening to WEEI’s “Chip and Dale” on the way into town. One caller wanted Menino to throw out the first pitch and another thought DLowe would be a good choice. They weren’t joking. Advantage: New York’s WFAN, as always. . . Dale and Holley are getting a feel for each other and it’s becoming apparent that they’re going to play it as “Square White Guy” gets hip-hop educated by “Cool Black Co-Host.” Personally, that seems to be the wrong direction. They need conflict and they need it constantly. If that doesn’t materialize, Arnold will wind up on the short end, because Holley has the bigger future (if he manages to plant roots in the NB Building).

• Boston Sports Guy managed to wind down his Opening Day reflections with an ‘aw, ain’t that sweet’ tribute to Baby X, his ensuing baby girl. Let’s hope his readership is going into the same life phase as he is, or else he’s endangering his already-fading appeal. That was my exact argument when Steve Rushin gave us the Baby Lobo piece in Sports Illustrated a while back: his readership is going through the same things. Simmons’s readership is lucky to be going through puberty. . . Another potential sign that Simmons has gone a bit south: The Inside Trackers listed him between ‘EEI’s Julie Kahn and supposed comedian Jackie Flynn.

• This won’t go over well, so I won’t harp on it: The banner (and Stars and Stripes) should have been given full mast treatment, even if only for a moment. There’s no reason whatsoever that a championship banner should be at half-staff. The American Flag is explainable and acceptable. The World Series Banner After 86 Years is not.

• The Shirl called to complain that NESN failed to i.d. the former Sox and that The Baze was no help as he confused Looie Tiant with Rich Gedman. Guess Doc Steinberg can’t be perfect. . . The Goods Doctor explained the night before on WB56 that you can only script so much, the rest has to come unexpectedly. That was the exact case with compadre, Richie Hopedale’s favorite moment with Mariano.

• Safe to say the lines for the bathroom and the concessions behind the bleachers have rarely been longer and never been so devoid of anger. It was a cattle call of the highest order and nothing could erase the smiles. Everyone was so damn happy that when one urinal user got a call mid-stream, he answered the cell and said: “Hey, Mike hold on a sec would ya?” – The entire bathroom cracked up.

• The dearth of colors-wearing Yankees fans was quite noticeable as more than a few observers noted. It’s also possible that it’s not so emasculating to be wearing the cap or tee of a team that choked like no other.

• Okay, here’s the complaint on the First Pitch crew: The Sox seemed to be determined to let the Pats have two guys for whatever reason (not to hold up Bruschi as some wiseguys opined), in which case it should have been two from each team and we would have proposed adding Tom Brady (in place of Seymour), giving Russell the accompaniment of Larry and letting Bobby and Ray share Bruins honors. . . Looks like the Herald had the closest thing to the behind-the-plate shot of the foursome courtesy of staff photog, Nancy Lane. How long til that one is in Building 19 for my Bro-in-Lou to snatch up for the pool room?

• Cashman’s tune won’t go down as his best cut ever, but it did the trick. His lack of range gives everything he does that “Light It Up (For Red)” feel, which is just fine with us.

• That would have been a nice touch in retrospect: Sinden, Red, Haywood and the Krafts. See, Chucky, we could make magic together.

• Picked up marketing items from in and around Fenway included the ibidfree.com drab pocket schedule; XM Satellite Radio hand-out (from under the sausage guys’ napkins – nice move) and a postcard promoting the release of “The It’s Possible Team” ‘smashing musical tribute to the 2004 Boston Red Sox’ which includes such favorites as Young Theo, Wicked Batas Chowda Heads and Los Quisquellanos/The Dominicans. . . In-stadium, a poly-bagged fold-out, MLB complete season schedule shilled the ESPN 2K5 video game, some MLB and Toys R Us mishigas and a three card set of one Fleer, one DonRuss and one Topps card. In order, I got Barry Larkin, Doug Mientkiewicz and Jose Vidro. They’re all mint and I’m starting the dBay bidding at $19.18 (as a tribute to Shaughnasty).

• The Masters coverage wouldn’t allow it, we suppose, but Basketball Bob’s take on yesterday was sorely missed and so was Cranky Callahan’s. And Barnicle just plain, old stunk. Meanwhile, Steroid Bryant is confused by the ‘nuisance’ of the 2005 season. And Jackie Mack dared to go with a 33-thousand-were-there-but-33-million-will-claim-they-were. It insulted the readers’ intelligence and failed to deliver an eighth of the emotion that was on display.

• An old UMass Daily Collegian staff meeting is expected to break out in town tonight. I swear if Howard Ziff is the surprise guest I might just start crying.

• By the way, Boston Sports Guy devoted 3,800 words to the NBA MVP race last week. I challenge you to the find the person not named “Simmons” or “House” that read all those words.