Hire Kirk Reynolds Dot Com

By David Scott
Boston Sports Media

• Alanis Morissette is still alive? Didn’t she choke on a jagged little pill? And Will Smith still exists too. The NBA teaches me so damn much. Thank you, David Stern. Thank you.

• So much for the high-scoring NBA – was every made basket only counting for one point last night?

• You watch the NBA Finals and you feel like maybe, just maybe, you are the only one in the entire state of Massachusetts doing such a thing. If it was against Trump’s show, the possibility would be even more viable.

• At about 9:10 p.m. EST last night, George Mikan had the first roll-over of his newfound eternal resting place. That was when a choreographed number showcased men dribble-dancing around the San Antonio planks, astride of Will Smith.

• Dave Cowens got caught on the Budweiser Hot Seat this week, but it was a brief stay and the new WNBA head coach (Chicago) didn’t have much to say (he likes Dwayne Wade and Tim Duncan). You do wonder why he’s doing such a thing as coaching an expansion WNBA team, but he’s earned the benefit of the doubt on this one. He’s Big Red and that’s good enough for me.

• How long till the sharks start feeding on the blood of Richard Seymour’s apparent holdout? And soon thereafter, the Terrell Owens comparisons. Could get U-G-L-Y. Belichick don’t play that game, yo.

• ABC’s Al Michaels sounded like a stuck-up, wine snob in his “Wait, Wait. . .” appearance last week on 90.9-WBUR FM, the official Saturday station of Shots. Michaels is a legend, no doubt, but he has about as much interest in the NBA as Percy the Dog (currently chewing his Shrek II toy from Ocean State). Just before midnight, Michaels goaded Hubie into excusing away the lack of offense and general poor play. And he sounded equally snobby as five days prior. Almost like Joe Six Pack couldn’t appreciate what we were watching (which was, in fact, an 8-day-off/well-rested team versus a tired, over-worked/2-day-off team).

• Now that PTI is presented by Red Stripe beer, it is officially the greatest show in the history of television. Hear that Wilbon, you knuckle Mon? What about you Korn Mon?

• We’ve reached our boiling point for never being mentioned in the Danica Patrick mentions that breathlessly describe her appearance in laddie mag, FHM. Everyone wants to talk about those wonderful pictures, but it was Shots, damn it, who wrote the very words and posed the actual questions that got such gems as:

“What’s the sexiest part about you?

You tell me.

The red leather boots you’re wearing for the FHM photo shoot aren’t bad. What goes on under that flame-retardant suit?

I wear a fireproof shirt and underwear. So, if you pulled my suit down. . .

Please continue.

If you pulled my suit down, it’s regular underwear, like boys’ underwear. Definitely not a thong. And it’s not flame retardant.

I kill me. ‘Please continue.’ That’s great editing right there. I never could have been that smooth with a Danica-type lady.

That’s the problem with those mags: the words are lost forever in the gutter between photos.

But I’m not complaining – just looking for some love. . . By the way, at that photo-shoot, I was six feet, tops, from the mostly-hidden, naked Danica. Vrooom, vroooom.

(FHM, by the by, had a bizarre string of episodes that led to the dismissal of a long-time editor/contributor. You could start by googling “Jake Bronstein Howard Stern FHM,” but that will probably just lead to more confusion and questions. It’s a semi-riveting tale of the pure power and platform possessed by Howard Stern. Wild, wild stuff.)

• Still feeling guilty (Sorry, Cranky Callahan) for the five minutes of Bravo’s “Queer Sox” we caught, so we tried to reverse-Title IX it with some of NESN’s “A Different Season” starring Mike Timlin, Tim Wakefield and Cotuit’s Andy and Tony Stern Father-Son duo. In addition to reassuring my masculinity (nice gun, Wake), the show was a glimpse into what can happen when you take some chances and invest a little bit of money for a TV production. It wasn’t Independent Film Channel-worthy, but on a night when the Sox were sitting, it was a worthwhile lead-in to Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Such properties are just smart programming and you have to think TV Tom Werner’s fingerprints are all over it. And Dr. Chuck, of course, who still owes me a letter. Hater. . . The Timlin/Zapruder (take that, Shaughnasty!) stuff from his personal camera, post-World Series was actually quite cool. It has a Mix Tape feel to it (see below on SI’s AND1 story). “It’s not available (to the public),” Timlin told skyrocketing, Eric Frede, the other night. . . How much did Timlin want that bobcat for his own?. . . Some nice camera work throughout, although I can never see anything but shrubs – my Yiddisha eyes, I s’pose.

• Tommy Lasorda has a blog at mlblogs.com and instead of being a sign of the apocalypse, it might very well be a sign of the next Blogolution: if MLB continues to legitimize blogs (for a fee, of course) they will open the door to allow for bloggers to cover their game and have access to their parks. Slippery slope, indeed, but one that’s already slithering toward us.

• If you’re buying the Tyson fight, you’re part of the problem. Moreso than Tyson himself, in fact. We’re just sayin’. . .

• Thursday afternoon on WEEI 850-AM, there was some self-generated and guest-perpetuated hub-bub over a supposed forthcoming regular simulcast of “The Big Show” on NESN (ala the New York’s Yes Network’s WFAN 660-AM deal with “Mike and The Mad Dog”). A few thoughts on this much-rumored pairing of mediums: 1. There is not enough Estee Lauder powder or concealer to hide the shine and glows emanating form the likes of Pete the Meat, Fred The Greek or DeOssie the Steve. Let’s hope the camera shots stay wide and NEVER get tight; 2. It would be more sensible, in Shots estimation, to go with a simulcast of the “Cranky and Denky” morning show and try and incorporate the earnest, but lacking, SportsDesk into the mix. You’ll get some bleary-eyed viewers in the morning, for sure. The afternoon is women’s TV time and ain’t no Big O from Beantown beating the real Big O from ChiTown – Oprah; 3. As Howard Stern proves nightly on E!, this type of media-merger works best when there are in-studio guests – Big O’s won’t be topless of course, but guest interaction with hosts and visuals do help keep home-viewers viewing. It has the potential to expand the guest pool for ‘EEI through, into and beyond Hollywood; 4. YES does an hour “Best of” Mike and the Mad Puppy on some nights – that might be a good opportunity for NESN to take a similar approach, but may we suggest a call-in aspect to the best-of show. It would be sort of like “Cheap Seats” with audience participation. (I gotta learn to keep these ideas to myself.)

• We tend to agree with Our Boss Bruce that (Baseball) Bob Ryan’s ‘scorebook piece’ on Wednesday was vintage Ryan. It ran a bit long for those who would have to ask “why do you do this,” Bob?, but the names alone were worth the entire half page of copy: Dana Kiecker? Oddibe McDowell? Roger Clemens?. . . Shots was surprised a bit by Ryan’s admission (and semi-regular practice) of getting athletes to sign the pages. It’s not a real big deal – and Ryan need not defend himself on it. But, there are usually instructions not to get autographs in major league locker room settings and the further ethical issues bring into play the idea that those pages would one day be of value to Ryan in more than sentimental manners. All that said and pointed out, we’ll guess Ryan is doing it for the pure sports fan in him and the only ones that will have the honor of holding those pages are the grandchildren, whose names and birth dates he can impressively recall. . . My “Scorebook Story” since you asked: When I was a cub-SID under the legendary Howie Davis at UMass, it was the mensch himself, Howie, who tutored me on scoring a game at Earl Lorden Field. I was a bit late to the baseball scoring thing (although I was relatively early in the ability to keep a clean and accurate basketball scorebook at the age of and there’s no more fertile training ground than northeast baseball in muddy April. Errors, wacky plays and pitching changes are a half-inning by half-inning thing. If you look back in the bowels of Boyden, there should be some outrageous “Shots as Official Scorer” books in the metal cabinets, holding illegible chicken scratch pertaining to this Rhode Island Pitcher or that West Virginia centerfielder. Let’s face it: I wasn’t in it for the baseball, I was just trying to pick up the leftover Baseball Bunnies that were throwing themselves at guys named Carelli and Clark. (That was for you, Kenneth’s Mom.). . . There are also more than a few “Shots as Official Scorer” from the Glory Calipari Days of UMass basketball. The most famous of which is the interrupted Rutgers game in New Jersey that was ultimately finished in Philly before the post-season A-10 Tournament. The lesson learned from that game: PUT EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER, IN THE BOOK, ON GAMENIGHT. Marcus Camby was injured during the playing of the game at the RAC so Shots never thought to enter his name in the official book. When the game was resumed weeks later, the Minutemen were assessed a technical for using a player (the then-healthy Camby) who didn’t appear in the book. It hardly mattered, as Cal’s Pals won handily, but it was a part of Umie History that we will always claim as our own. . . Five hundred-plus words inspired by a column that was inspired by a column. This, friends, is the danger of the Internet, blogging and idle hands.

• Netflix does not yet have the entire Kirk Reynolds set of 49ers DVD training videos, but we’ve got it in our Queue for when they do. Dude likes tittie bars, it seems. . . Today’s headline for Shots is a tribute to the one of the all-time greatest PR men, who we trust, will find gainful employ before too long. Sometimes, being on the side of truth, has its consequences.

•ESPN.com’s newly installed senior national columnist, Gene Wojciechowski heralded his promotion with an “I believe” column that we believe was too similar to the April debut of Scoop Jackson for ESPN.com – however, Scoop’s column is not posted on his archive page so we couldn’t tell for sure.

We further believe that every writer at ESPN.com and its subsidiaries will soon submit an “I believe” missive and we further believe that ESPN will then sell the notion to a beer company and set up an entire section sponsored by Miller Lite called the “I Believe in Miller Lite Site.”

• And while were harping on the Worldwide Leader, what exactly was their point in dropping the ESPN name from the American Football Coaches Association Coaches Poll? All of the sudden they are going to be holier-than-thou about disclosure and transparency? Funny how they have no problem letting hacks like EJ Hradek Bonk use all his unnamed sources to “break” stories, but get a bit uppity when coaches only want to reveal their final poll’s specifics. It’s not only a double-standard, it’s a blatant stunt meant to boost credibility of the news side at a time when the entertainment side has virtually become the Lord Of All Things ESPN.

Speaking of last year’s Cal injustice in the final regular season poll, ESPN’s Vince Doria said: “It became a big story which carried our name, and the confidentiality of the coaches prevented us from covering the story the way we wanted to. At that point, we began talking about whether it was in our best interests to continue.”
Of course, instead of dropping out when the AP did, ESPN made it a news event of its own by waiting until this week to announce its dis-affiliation.

ESPN is trying to tell us that they aren’t doing anything funny behind that huge curtain in Bristol, but stunts like this make you wonder even more, just how much else is going on.

• Sports Illustrated’s cover story this week touches close to home for Shots, as the company featured – AND1 – helped feed, clothe and sustain us at points during the past year. The always worthwhile Alex Wolff pens the piece that explores the rise of “Street Ball” through the rise of the “tiny” company based outside Philly. This marks a most interesting cover topic for SI, seeing as most of its readers think Hot Sauce is a nasty result of too many burritos and that Skip to My Lou is a old school house ditty.

But Wolff pulls it off with a rational look at whether AND1 (and its ilk) has actually hurt basketball as a whole or, more likely, kept the interest alive and helped basketball. . . As always, AO (Aaron Owens), gives the best quotes and sums up the company’s “AND1 MF” mentality at various times in the story. Interesting to note that AO’s comments about Bob Cousy from Stan Grossfeld’s Globe winter story on the company, made their way into an effective ad campaign that ran in hardcore basketball mags recently . . .A couple of things we would have expected SI to expound upon (and granted, I was close to all this stuff for half a year so I have a different perspective): Hot Sauce, mentioned frequently in the piece, left AND1 this past winter, feeling he could make it bigger on his own. In a way, it was the ultimate signal that the Mix Tape Tour had “arrived” – one of their own creations (for the most part) was seeking greener pastures. Wolff would have heard different stories from Sauce now that he’s not paid to be wearing the AND1 gear.

Also missing from the on-line version of the story (maybe there are sidebars in the mag piece) was a mention of how AND1, for all intents and purposes, is now an Entertainment Company that makes sneakers, whereas it was started (and developed) as a Sneaker Company that made entertainment. It’s a big difference and one worth exploring a bit if you’re going to look at the company as a whole.

Lastly, although Nike is compared and contrasted in the story, there isn’t any real “comment” from Phil Knight or his minions on just what AND1 has done to the industry. It’s my impression that because Nike is BILLION with a B-dollar company and AND1 is a Million with an M-dollar company, they just can’t be bothered with what niche companies are doing. Doesn’t mean that AND1’s story isn’t worth telling and exploring, just that Nike is still king by miles and miles, no matter what the Mix Tape Tour suggests.
Still, it’s a worthwhile read if you’re trying to put your mind around the fascination today’s teens have with hoopin’ like the AND1 ballerz. Fa shizzle. One.

• These two gems come from Media Life on Tuesday:

1. Kurt Andersen, a veteran of The New Yorker, Time Magazine and New York Magazine, has a less than rosy outlook for newspapers. “All newspapers are kind of f*&^ed,” he tells This Is Not a Blog, a New York University webzine. “Look at newspaper circulation numbers. They’re all on a steady decline. There’s going to be a lot of confusion and pain in the interim as this transition from paper to electronic happens.” Andersen says he likes blogs but still thinks they need work before they’re completely credible.

And this from the same day:

2. Is the New York Times getting rid of its trademark long pieces? It is if executive editor Bill Keller has his way. In a recent email to his staff, Keller suggested they submit less copy, writing: “Over the years various editors have waged a fitful campaign against the inexorable creep of swollen prose. The latest effort to stem the tide of excess begins with a spirit of optimism. I’m confident we can develop greater discipline in our writing.”

It would really make sense for some Boston printworld decision makers to start taking note of these trends. It’s not chat room babble anymore – it’s occurring developments developing daily.

• The latest Boston Sports Guytoon continues the uninterrupted streak of having some form of snot, goo or bodily fluid expelled at some point of the two minute waste-of-time. However, the Harold Lederman imitation was spot-on, so they do get a point for effort on that one.

• Michael Hiestand, the next evolution of Rudy Martzke for USA Today, made the suggestion on Wednesday that we check out AOL’s SportsBloggersLive. So we made like good little lab mice and scampered on over.

And to tell you the truth, it might be the best mainstream example of what the future of blogs could be. A regular Top 10 listing of Blogs offers pages to check out and it sounds like the regular Monday night show might have some worthwhile elements as well. The skeletal parts of making Blog Money are in place.

Point is – ESPN, for once, is chasing the leader. Their use of in-house beat writers as “bloggers” is a bit of a stretch – especially when they are mostly Insider benefits.

This, by the way, is exactly how the Herald needs to begin incorporating the “blog franchise” into the overall package. A little user-service, goes a long way.

• Blog peer, Dave Doyle recommended the blog: http://touchingallthebases.blogspot.com/ earlier this week and Shots would like to throw some support behind the Chad Finn destination as well. It marks the first in what I hope will be a long line of Dave Tested, Shots Approved blogs and other spots of interest.

• Speaking of endorsements, can someone please come up with a MACINTOSH-FRIENDLY icon that would tell whether sites are supportive of MAC browsers like Safari? If a company is too lame to reach out to the MacHeads, I don’t need to support that company. And I’d like to know ahead of time that I shouldn’t.

• Here was classic copy desk add-on to the Bryan Burwell piece from last Friday – it was left on the Post-Disptach website inadvertently and shows a cranky page editor passing the piece to another (we’ll presume) cranky web editor: “BuRWeLl wanTS us to ITALICIZE EVERYTHING From “To: David Stern” through “Hey, you are the commissioner.” BuT you may do whatever you need typographically to make it work. That segment is a faux memo.”

• We’re going to try and check out fellow Umie, James P. Murphy’s new radio show on WWZN-1510 AM this Saturday from 2-4. However, the Zone’s weak signal sometimes can’t reach the shores of Hull. Therefore, we’d ask that you, the trusted reader, check out the show and report back to us. It’s called “E4, The Informative Baseball Talk Show” and along with co-host Brian M. Malone, the bought-time show tries to generate some intelligent rawhide rap for true fans.

• Bill Griffith was his usual trend-setting self this week when he looked at the popularity of talk radio for a Sports A1 story in the Tuesday Globe. Holy Cow! Maybe next month he can explore that new-fangled TiVo thing.

What. A. Joke.

• This Sopranos creator, David Chase, is quite a kanacka (ShotsYiddish for ‘bozo’) – all of the sudden he’s telling USA Today that he’s “ambivalent” about a seventh season of the show while we still have to wait nine months for the start of the 13-episode sixth season. Someone should whack him and let him in on the secret that he’s killing the franchise.

• My Tiger OS weather widget always seems to be on the fritz. I’d really like a Tide Chart Widget – does that exist MacHeads?

• Three thousand words and not one of ‘em worth repeating. Time to go.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. and can be reached at shots@bostonsportsmedia.com