By David Scott
Boston Sports Media

• And the award for Most Crowded TV Studio Set ever goes to: The Boston Red Sox and NESN, who last night held their ring raffle drawing with approximately 32 individuals crammed behind the desk – poor Johnny pesky had to sit on Tom Werner’s lap. Louie Tiant head butted Jim Ed just to get camera time. It was crowded, folks. . . They shoulda brought back the old lottery ball spinning wheel watcher from back in the day of Evening Magazine with Robin and Barry. Not Dawn Hayes, either. She never did it for us. . .Any guesses on how many of the three rings appear on eBay at one time or another during our lifetime?

• In addition to it being the mid-season for baseball and the WNBA, it’s mid-year for the rest of the world as well. That world includes Boston, where we’ve had some All-Star performances in the sports media stratosphere as well. Not to mention some Keith Foulkesque displays.

(Any of the following Shots Scotts All-Stars who resemble the Ringo Starr All-Star Band, circa 1991, is purely coincidental.)

So, without further ado, we are proud to announce the 10 starters we’d send out for the mid-season clunker – some are in place because of their merit and others are there because every team needs some Idiots.

But they’re all stars on the Shots’ line-up card.

LF: Michael Gee, of Oui, The Herald and Phoenix pages of yore. Recently of the sportsjournalists.com begging pool.

He always came out of left field, it seemed, during his Yellow Box days. So let’s get him a farewell appearance. Or at least another of his humorous emails to amuse our readers.

(By the way, the eight words no one has uttered this summer are these: “Boy, I sure do miss seeing Gee’s headshot.”)

CF: Don Orsillo, of NESN

Ever since Dave Doyle’s Wonderful World of Banter starting discoursing over the NESN Sox squad of Don O and Jerry Remdawg Remy, we’ve been pleasantly impressed with the public’s understanding of what they’re being sold. Face it, Orsillo is a bargain basement Sean McDonough and Announcer Boy has been perfectly cast in his role with the team (BY his team, indicating a casting choice by TV Tom Werner). Does that mean Don O’s incompetent? Nay. Far form it, in fact. He’s just a bit bland. That’s not an entirely bad thing. And the truth of the matter is that Jerry Remy is the root of whatever the problem may be inside the NESN booth. Which is why Remy is being named as a starter for the Scott’s Shots all-stars in. . .

RF: Remdawg, of NESN, Hotdogs and RemyReport.com

With a gruff exterior and a long time cigarette habit that graveled his voice, Remy plays the heavy to Don O’s “golly gee, Mr. Remy” persona. Remy also happens to be the guy with the most at stake inside the nightly NESN nest. And while it’s true that he can be the anti-Tommy Heinsohn with his blunt analysis, he’s also a very big Company Man. He has to be. His business interests depend upon his folk hero status and staying in the audience’s good graces. Remy – who I assure you misses McDonough more than any fan ever could – needs to ride the Sox gravy train for as long as its dripping. In the end, that means being an entertainer (for men AND women) complete with props like Wally and his website. . .Speaking of which, Remy’s worst transgression of all is that he implicitly endorses the work of Dimdog, Steve Silva, by linking to the Dirtdog disgrace through his site. You are who you associate with, Dawg.

3B: Chris Snow, of The Boston Globe

The lone rookie on the team, Snow has been quietly consistent and confident in both his writing and TVing appearances. Most of all, he hit the ground running on the region’s toughest beat, under intense attention and nary an educated voice has raked him, nor so much as touched him. He’s clearly gotten some nice tutelage from his elders on the beat (and not just his fellow Green Boxers, we might add) and he’s bold enough to try some flowing leads and poetic prose. He takes risks, but in the right places (daily notebooks, and his minor league once-a-weeker) and thankfully, he’s had limited contact with Shaughnasty from what we can tell. And best of all, as one friend consistently points out, there IS hope for young, white, male sportswriters in large markets.

SS: Bonnie DeSimone, of Everywhere and Everything

This Globe Tour De Lance scribe is the Forrest Gump of sports journalism. She’s found herself interwoven into famous journalism scandals (see last week’s Shots for deets) and then on Thursday, her byline appeared in USA Today with a Montreal dateline and in the Globe with a Montargis, France dateline. Other than once and for all proving that datelines are meaningless, it also shows just how damn much this woman hustles. Her package for USAT was on the Cirque du Soleil’s use of athletes and her Globe piece was, well, about Lance, of course. (Any one who got through more than six total grafs of both stories is A) a DeSimone themselves or B) Sister Elle’s Ricky Rochester the Tour Freak.) This woman is the John Feinstein of non-revenue sports. Point is, she must have great range and a never-say-no-to-work attitude. She’s the Derek Jeter of our squad. We could offer up more false analogies, but our DH needs some love. And he is. . .

DH: John Tomase, of the Laughable Eagle Tribune

Tomase doesn’t get to travel much, so we’ll keep him for the at-home games as our designated hitter. The Manny Ripper made a complete and total ass of himself in June to the point where when we see him now in the FSN loveseat, we just simply laugh and change the channel. We’re guessing we’re not alone. It will take a long while for the credibility to return for Tomase.

2B: Bill Griffith, of the Globe

Just like the Sox second baseman, we need a guy who strikes out more often than not. Griff Gruff fills that bill with empty stories like the “checkbook journalism” monster that ran this week. Add in his mostly empty SporTVoid and this guy makes Bellhorn look like Big Papi.

1B: (tie) Laura Behnke, Anya Huneke, of NECN

Why first base for these two New England Cable Babes? Because that’s where Shots would love to get with one or both of them! But seriously folks, Behnke has transitioned smoothly into her three-hole role (after Chris Collins and Mike Giardi and she’s proven capable both in the field and on the desk. She even manages to get Tom Ellis to register a pulse once in a while, which is nothing short of astonishing. . . As for Anya, she’s not a sports personality per se, but damn, she sure gets my heart racing. . . Shots, it should be noted, is willing to become Scottke, if that makes the ladies happier.

P: Jeff Horrigan, of the Boston Herald

Loyal like a Francona, I gotta go with a Scott’s Shots fave as my starting pitcher. You know what you’re getting from Horrigan the way you know that Pedro is going to deliver. A Horrigan byline will give both solid info and worthy words with the proper dose of Heraldness to allow for a quick, yet informative read. Unlike almost anyone else in the market, Horrigan “gets it.” And delivers it, too.

C: Mike Adams, of undeserved obscurity

Bob Montgomery always proved that your catcher should be a bit ‘off’. Adams, who sees spot duty at ‘EEI and NECN deserves a larger stage. The argument that Adams is too much of a loose cannon is a the exact reason he should be scene/heard more often. Unlike 75 percent of his contemporaries, Adams understands the entertainment portion of the mediums he dabbles in. It’s sports, folks, let’s laugh a little.

•For those wondering when the starters will get their uniforms, Laura and Anya can contact Shots directly. The rest of you bums will need to get your own ride to the park.

• Rick Reilly got it right with his Damon column in the July 11 Sports Illustrated, and since Reilly this decade has been about as consistent as a Foulke, that’s saying something. . . But the fact remains, it’s time for Johnny Damon to stuff his hair, his ‘ass’ and his current wife into his oversized yap and shut the heck up. Keep hitting, play ball and then take your act elsewhere. Mrs. Idiot seems perfectly suited for LA or NYC.

• First, let’s credit this past Sunday’s Globe for pointing out the transgressions of BC basketball in recent years. But second, let’s remember how completely bonkers the Globe (and its news division) got during the UMass grades non-scandal in the early-90s and later in the Marcus Camby stickey-wicket (a story the Hartford Courant and Desmond Conner owned). Always a BC-rooting section, the Globe picked the right story but didn’t dig or sling mud nearly enough.

• In a revolutionary move that indicates modern technology may indeed have been introduced within the ancient walls of Morrissey Boulevard, this weeks “Memo from the sports editor” offered up an email address for submitting questions and comments to ask the Globe’s reporters. Shocking! Email? In the 21st century? What will Joe Sullivan come up with next?

• Shameless self-promo spot: Shots will be appearing on CN8 tonight and the Hawaiian Shirt we’ve picked out for Hawaiian Shirt Friday with non-wearer, Phil Burton, is nothing, if not, well. . . old. And musty. But it’ll be nice on-screen, I assure ya! Aloha, True Believers. . . It should be an early segment with Shots, so My Buddy Paulie Brookline can still be snoozing to the sounds of the ocean by 10:30 or so.

• Tony Kornheiser’s hazing of Globe-user/abuser, Michael Smith during this week’s PTI has been nothing short of tremendous. My two favorites: “What are you? Like a sophomore in high school? Do you have a summer reading list?” and at the end of Thursday’s show: “Who are you?”. . . Oh, and in between it all George Foreman tried to give five good minutes of why he could save Mike Tyson. It was a shame Michael Wilbon wasn’t there, because he would have had the guts to tell Foreman he’s a moron for even lowering himself to the sub-species of a Tyson. Korn laid off and Smith added nothing but repeat Korn questions. It was sad, to say the least. . . Smith did get a worthwhile Wilby dig in at “Grampa” when he asked if the 20 years-ago Boris Becker Wimby win was the last event Korn had attended in person? That’s funny stuff.

• A link on ESPN.com’s homepage earlier this week was labeled as BBTN Extra. We had to click over just to see what BBTN was, although we were pretty sure we knew. It was, in fact, Baseball Tonight’s homepage and it begs the question: How cocky is ESPN.com to get an extra “N” out of the compound word ‘tonight’? It really pushed the sensible limits of acronyming (from the Greek, akron and onuma; and from the English, ING Direct).

• Still listed on the Entercom site is a posting for jobs at WEEI that reads thusly: On-Air Positions Sports Anchor, WEEI 850-AM: Sportsradio 850 WEEI, the nation’s top rated sports station, is looking for sports anchors. Two full time positions and two part time positions are available. Duties include anchoring on air sports flashes two to three times per hour, reporting from various sporting events, assisting in producing remote broadcasts, and hosting sales/marketing appearances. Applicants need to have a minimum of 3 years broadcast experience in a top 50 market. Entercom Boston is and equal opotunity (sic) employer. Contact Information: Send tape and resume to Human Resources, Entercom Boston, 20 Guest Street, Suite 300, Brighton, MA. 02135. No phone calls please.

Shots reached out to WEEI’s Jason Wolfe to see what the positions were and, in turn, if the Teddy Sarandis scuttlebutt is true (Sarandis, it was reported last week by Jim Baker, is on his way out at 850). Wolfe did not return an email request from Shots, but we’d like to let him know that if he’s serious about getting fresh talent, we’d be happy to offer some names up. . . Just how equal opportunity can you be if you can’t even spell opportunity? That’s one for another day, eh? We’ll have plenty of opotunities for that.

• The Norwell Notable hosts a fete this weekend at his Norwell Ponderosa and the first Massachusetts sighting of Shots’ youngest, most loyal fan, Alexandra Susan, is just a tiny part of the day-long gala. . . We’re wondering if the WNBA All-Star game will be given proper attention during the celebration and further curious as to when the first cut form the Notable’s College Fight Songs CD will be played. (Safe money says by 6:15 p.m.). . . Don’t be surprised if Shots is found at one of the local Rte. 53 haunts by 10 p.m. – The Squires is a good bet, but so is Aerosmith hangout, Mount Blue. If it gets to Jamie’s time, then we know things are shaky. (Obscure South Shore bar references provided in hopes of one day meeting the future Mrs. Shots in any of those three establishments. Or a Building 19 or Ocean State Job Lot of your choosing.)

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. and can be reached at shots@bostonsportsmediadotcom