By David Scott
Boston Sports Media Watch

In conjunction with:
Sheriff Sully
www.sheriffsully.com

12:35 p.m.
SHOTS WROTE:

Well, it’s T-minus 15 minutes until the start of the Red Sox Nation Senate Hearings, also known as the Theo Farewell Press Conference. This has the strange feel of Opening Day in November, doesn’t it?

Shots went with the Big Louie, pumpkin spice coffee to prepare for the event and folks, those Mary Lou’s people really do have the “best coffee in town.” At least Hull town.

Just to re-cap for those of you joining late, here are the latest developments in The Theo Theatrics:

. . . On WEEI 850 AM this morning, Dan Shaughnessy, became the first Globie to appear on what his paper had built up to be Al JazEEI in recent years, by banning its employees from appearing on-air.

Evidently Tim Russert or the Beltway Boys were not biting on the Shaughnasty Media Tour, so ‘EEI became the preferred choice of getting Danny Boy’s side of the story out into the mainstream.

More than one listener has told Shots that DB was amazed at the thin-skinned-ness of Theo and the thought that a column could change his mind on returning to Fun Fenway. While Shots maintains that the Sunday Shaughnessy offering did not singularly drive Theo out, it does appear that some of the inisder info within that piece did serve as the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Still, the most incredible part of DB’s reaction is that he would call someone out for being thin-skinned. Shots has had two separate ‘run-ins’ with DB where the major daily columnist was upset with something little ole Shots had said or written. Not only were both, separate situations eerily similar, but DB didn’t even recall the first run-in when he called to discuss the second. It made us wonder just how many run-ins does this guy have and just how many people has he contacted over the years to try and give his side? The number must be sooooooo big that he can’t even recall who he’s already battled with.

Just to be clear, DB, we’ve been down this road before. If you need to chat, you know where to find me.

. . . Howie Carr’s favorite target (non-Whitey division), Mumbles Menino, appeared on WEEI as well and was predicting that Theo was going to pull a politician’s move and flip-flop on the decision. What was most ridiculous about the Mumbler’s “Dennis and Callahan” spot: A) he knows nothing about what he was talking about (a common occurrence, we’re reminded); B) he did it six days before an election; or C) that Meter’s sports flash was interrupted to give Menino air time; or, D) THERE’S AN ELECTION IN SIX DAYS.

. . . And then, to cap it all off, there was also a spot on D&C with Bloody Schill, where Curt on the Car Phone kicked a little dirt in the face of Danny Boy (after Danny Boy had done the same, earlier).

Okay, so that’s Shank, Mumbles and Schill, all before 10 a.m.? My word - that would have been an entire year of guests for WWZN 1510 AM, may they rest in peace after Eddie’s last stand on Thursday.

. . . You know who’s been oddly silent in all of this? Other than John Henry and Doc Chuck, that is? Joe Sullivan - if the Globe’s really interested in clearing up questions, shouldn’t Sully be giving us a little Letter from the Editor? We think so and have even emailed an exclusive offer to have Sully appear in Shots this Friday with unlimited space and no restrictions. It might not be ‘EEI in terms of reach, but he sure would gain some points from the Shots’/BSMW Loyalists, wouldn’t he?

. . . Chris Snow, in an effort to regain some authority and credibility on his beat, reported in today’s Globe that Theo escaped the Fenway offices on Monday in, are you ready for this?, a Gorilla suit.

Immediately, Shots mind wandered to the all-timer, Trading Places, where Al Franken (yes, AL FRANKEN) plays a baggage handler in charge of watching a train-housed/caged gorilla. The specifics are escaping me right now, but the punchline was that the bad guy got placed in a gorilla suit (with his mouth duct-taped) and became the real gorilla’s lovetoy. Al Franken, for his part, went on to be the voice of liberals everywhere. There’s another Gorilla joke in there, too, we suppose.

That’s all we could think about for two hours: Theo wandering off Yawkey Way, winding up at the Stone Zoo and being penned up with Koko the Gorilla whle his proteges attend the GMs meetings.

Compeletly wild scenario, we agree. But he was in a GORILLA SUIT trying to escape from his place of work. It doesn’t get any more bizarre.

But it might during this presser. . .

. . . Personally, I can’t wait for the second part of this Ombuds’ piece - they’re going to need to extend the thing into about 50 more weeks to get through all the layers.

Check back soon - more to come from Shots and Sully. . .