By David Scott
Boston Sports Media Watch

Here’s the column a Boston-area writer should have written on ‘Lil Bill following his pre-pubescent “Screw You” week of Meadowlands’ cage rattling. The Hartford Courant’s Jeff Jacobs made a stab, but it’s the immensely talented and fearless, Adrian Wojnarowski, who nails the subject matter. (And yes, he’s one of Shots’ “binkies,” as a Globe writer recently called my stable of writers that I seem to constantly enjoy reading.)

Binkie or not, I dare you to argue an iota of Woj’s stellar Monday piece.

• Okay, the real reason you’re getting a beginning-of-the-week edition of Shots? Babbling Bob Lobel was such an embarrassment on Sunday nights CBS4 “Sports Final,” that we had to comment on it within 24 hours of its airing, lest we be negligent as your dutiful watchdog.

Lobel opened the show by teasing his potential verbal attack on the Red Sox. An attack that, predictably, never came. Instead the rapidly-fading, aging and disengaging Lobel closed the Sunday Night torture session by saying, IF he were going to rip the red Sox, he WOULD HAVE ripped, “The Owner” (which one is unclear), “The General Manager and The Leftfielder.”

The only thing more infuriating than the idle threats was the schloompie, wrinkled appearance of Lobel – who, admittedly, had a long day at the office – including the closing full-length shot of Lobel in front of the set which revelaed a worn-down, disheveled host in wrinkled pants, who had just stumbled through 30-plus minutes of painful television.

Lobel, who had earlier in the evening (during “5th Quarter” duty) been overcome with an obsession over the Corey Dillon Defender – (an “overzealous assistant trainer” according to Steve DeAwful DeOssie) – only bothered to ask Stumbling Steve Burton about the potential Dillon injury. Lobel passed up the chance to ask about Dillon with a “real” reporter like sudden tempest-in-a-teapot, Mike Felger, of ESPN Radio Boston 890 AM, first and foremost; and the Herald second, and distantly.

Felger’s insight wouyld have been better than Burton’s “I’m not a doctor” line. No, you’re barely a reporter, how could you be a doctor?

Here’s some of the Lobel transcript from Sunday night’s show:

During “Sports Final” intro, following the full-screen of another lame Larry Johnson cartoon, which Lobel called one of his “all-time favorites”:

LOBEL: “. . . besides, I just really would like to nail the Red Sox. Right now, sometime tonight – maybe I’ll wait a week. I just feel like it’s necessary.

“. . .maybe I’ll get to them tonight, I don’t know.”

During “Sports Final” outro, end of the show:

LOBEL: “. . . You know if I was going to take a shot (it would be) at The Owner, the General Manager and The Leftfielder. But we don’t have time this week, so we can save that for next week. . .”

. . . In other Lobel-related news, the Babbler, as mentioned above, made a very big deal, during the Pats’ TV38 postgame show, about a late-game injury (or discomfort) to Dillon. As Dillon was brought to the Pat’s bench, a Pats’ sideline toady (“identified” repeatedly as an “assistant trainer” by Steve DeOssie) shielded the CBS cameras from focusing on Dillon.

The Pats’ person (who Shots actually believes was Director of Operations, Matt Caracciolo and not an assistant trainer), first waved off the camera with his right hand, and then hopped the bench, stood facing the camera and folded his right arm over his left and grimaced at the camera, which then cut to a Belichick sideline shot.

These crude, fuzzy, picture-phone-taken, shots are of the Dillon Protector, whoever he may be:

dillonprotector

dillonprotector2

The Cross-Armed Sentry was, as DeOssie surmised on “Sports Final,” getting “a little carried away with the team philosophy” of concealing everything from everyone.

Probably made the boss, Coach ‘Lil Bill, tremble with pride if he caught the act during his tape review.

. . .The Dillon subterfuge reminded us of the NFL’s new policy regarding local affiliate video cameras on its games’ sidelines. The situation is (as detailed nicely here by David Barron of the Houston Chronicle.

It’s mostly petty electronic press people bitching and moaning about their “access”, but at the core of the issue, is what can only be described as the NFL’s further controlling of its image, presentation and, in the end, its perception.

Add into all this mix, the covert ways in which Team Belichick has always operated, and the result is the comical picture of the dutiful Dillon Defender, standing arms crossed, snarling at the CBS camera. The move would have been a lot more acceptable if the DD had only turned his back on the camera instead of sneering at it.

. . . An interesting editorial from the Lansing State Journal regarding the camera ban is worth a looksie.

. . .Even if Belichick can’t be compelled to discuss his feelings about Mangini, there’s a good chance he may have to dish about another Jersey “Friend of Bill.” The picked up on the matter on Monday, but the details are more full here, as you’d expect, at the New York Post.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. And can be reached at shotsATbostonsportsmedDOTcom