• Some ‘step back from the moment’ observations re: last week’s Michael Gee story. I’m trying to serve as my own Ombudsblogger here, so feel free to tell me how the experiment goes:

• The Gee story dominated the email subject lines at shots Mac Mail Inbox. Dominated like no other single topic in some 18 months of consistent, weekly blogging (we began twice-weekly, went to once-weekly and have had a few EvBlogs in the mix).

The only thing close to this response was an appearance on The O’Reilly Factor discussing steroids in the Spring. Bill O’ gets eyeballs, no matter what you think of his show or FNC.

It’s not surprising that people gravitated to the story, seeing as a large majority of this space’s readers either know Gee or know of Gee. He was on the national scene for quite a while and by default, he has gotten around.

None of the Shots’ 30-odd emailers sided with Gee, per se, but many faulted Shots for “ratting Gee out” to BU. If it appears that way, it’s a false vision. I started reporting the story and from that, BU was able to act quickly and decisively. Here’s the facts as I know them, from my recollections of the week.

On Tuesday the 12th at about 1 p.m. EST, I emailed Ann Deveney, a PR person at BU, who’s contact info I had culled from a release at the BU Website. I asked about the specific course, the instructor and BU policy for web publishing.

After two follow-up calls to Deveney, BU’s director of media relations, Colin Riley left a voice mail and I eventually got in touch with him on Thursday morning. We spoke for five minutes or so and his quotes were included in the story.

After getting Riley’s side, I contacted Gee via email and explained what I was working on. The ensuing exchange between Gee and Shots will remain our private communications. For the record, he would not comment.

The story was posted just after midnight on July 15, last Friday. At that time I also emailed Gee to let him know the story was published and viewable and offering any amount of space for a response at BSMW via Scott’s Shots.

Friday, after a crushing Sox defeat in Schilling’s return, some talk of the Gee matter surfaced on Bruce’s board in the a.m. and then across the country on various sites, at some other message forums and on other media blogs.

It was a one-day story, but for a website like Bruce’s, it was a significant one. And one that was worth telling.

Sportsjournalists.com got eight pages of discussion about it within 24 hours, but if you’ve ever tracked these things, the relevant talk usually comes within the first three pages, or not at all. After that it’s personal attacks, inside jokes and teenage sniping by angry white males with ink-stained hands – or so it seems.

• Michael Gee (still using his own name, we notice) posted this at sj.com on Friday at 2:47:30: “This is my only public comment. Otherwise, I will suffer the wages of folly in silence. An earlier poster touched me where it hurt. That post was pathetic, juvenile, and boorish. It’s not me. It’s not remorely (sic) me, yet I said it and I’m deeply ashamed I did. Never say anything anywhere when in the grip of profound negative emotions.”

(For what it’s worth, Gee was back posting again on Friday night after the Sox game. It was strictly baseball talk.)

• Some colleagues (and even friends) have asked why I didn’t call (or email) Gee first to get his initial comments, before contacting BU? To be honest, I thought he’d already done his talking on the posting. I wanted to know (as a media critic) what BU (and its Communications school, remember) would do about such thing. I wanted their comments and then I would give Gee the ‘final’ say (which I clearly did, even offering up unlimited space).

I was examining an issue – a part of trend, really – where writers who are empowered by their abilities are also brought down (at varying degrees) by them. (SJ.com posters recalled an Indiana newspaper person who lost his job over posts at the site, and more and more, stories of bloggers losing their day jobs, are surfacing.)

•If anyone thinks this is going to keep Gee from writing professionally, they clearly haven’t been reading the nation’s papers, magazines and web sites. Content is still king and name recognition of almost any sort is always helpful in pursuit of gigs. Gee is embarrassed and crestfallen, but he’s not done as a writer. His emails alone show a level of talent worthy of someone’s paper or web pages.

• As My Boss Bruce Bruce pointed out in a message board post at BSMW on Friday, I do not get paid for my Scott’s Shots work. It’s an old-fashioned, barter deal: I get space, Bruce gets whatever readers I attract. He handles all tech stuff and asks that I use sound judgment (journalistically and tastefully) in all that I do. I like to think I oblige and I also like to think the site has grown with me on board. We’ve helped each other and I love seeing his site become appreciated by a larger audience.

Do I want a full-time job that allows me to continue the column and readership I have created here? Yes, I certainly do – freelancing has many advantages, but full-time employ is always best. For now, though, this is the best of many worlds.

• As for suggestions that this space (or even the site) was “slimy” or “ratted out” Gee to “create” a story is laughable. Michael Gee “ratted” himself out by using his real name and by posting the comments. We all make our own beds, correct?

I simply REPORTED on a story in my FIELD of (semi)expertise (as supported by 15-plus years of national media immersion). The same way a Sox beat writer would report on questionable content if Schilling had done something like this at, say, SOSH. Journalists are my athletes, that’s the ‘game’ I cover.

I didn’t just, all of the sudden start fishing for salacious stories involving out-of-sight-out-of-mind-ex-columnists-at-major-dailies. That’s not something that interests me a great deal, to be honest. But someone posting comments of questionable nature regarding a college student at a local university in a journalism course (!!!) – for Heaven’s sake!

What writer, editor or consumer wouldn’t need to do a little bit of digging on that type of situation? If there are any that would stay away from it, I’d like to suggest that perhaps a weekly free shopper in your area is looking for a good layout person.

This was JOURN 201, basic values of what is news. THIS was news.

Sometime after my initial contact with Ms. Deveney, BU discovered the posts and acted quickly. Gee was gone before I could get the ‘true’ reaction from BU. Did I agitate the waters and start the wheels of dismissal in motion? Probably. Could I have avoided that? Not in my view. Should I have tried to avoid that? Again, not in my view. I was asking for comment on something a BU employee had put forth in a public forum about a student.

I admit to perhaps not reporting the story with the aplomb of a seasoned investigative reporter, but I also wasn’t trying to bury the guy. I just wanted to point out how insane the situation was and how small our media world can actually become.

• Lastly, here was an interesting post from an sj.com poster named JackS made at 3:00:32 p.m. on Friday. (A few clicks through JackS posting will allow you to know who he is, should you desire.): “I warned Michael earlier this week. I suggested he go back and edit out the school and course, and he responded by saying I (and Lugnuts [another regular poster]) needed Prozac and Ex-lax. I want to make it clear I’m not the “fink,” however. In fact, I didn’t even know “Michael Gee” wasn’t an alias. I still think the bigger blunder was posting the school and course, not using his real name. I’ve always used my real name here and never gotten myself into trouble. No sense rubbing it in further though. I just wanted to make the point that Michael was warned and chose to ignore the advice.”

• We’ll let this close the chapter on the Gee story, but we will say it has been an intriguing look into what happens when new media butts head with old media and the perspectives that each group’s participants have on news and coverage thereof.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. and can be reached at shots@bostonsportsmediadotcom

Gee Gone – Again

• Scott’s Shots has learned that former Boston Herald sports columnist, Michael Gee, is, according to Boston University director of media relations, Colin Riley, “no longer teaching this term” at BU, a result of Gee’s somewhat suggestive observations regarding a female student.

Those words – made on a public message board – apparently cost Gee his second job in two months. (He took part in the recent Herald buyout offer.)

On July 5, Gee, according to his own post at www.sportsjournalists.com, had begun a stint as fill-in instructor for a summer communications/journalism course at BU.

Here is what Gee wrote at sj.com on that day: “Today was my first day teaching course 308/722 at the Boston University Dept. of Jounralis (sic). There are six students, most of whom are probably smarter than me, but they DON’T READ THE PAPER!!! Not the Globe, Times, Herald or Wall Street Journal. I can shame them into reading, I guess, but why are they taking the course if they don’t like to read

But I digress. Now here’s the nub of my issue. Of my six students, one (the smartest, wouldn’t you know it?) is incredibly hot. If you’ve ever been to Israel, she’s got the sloe eyes and bitchin’ bod of the true Sabra. It was all I could do to remember the other five students. I sense danger, Will Robinson.”

“Bitchin bod”? “Sloe eyes”? “Danger”? – He wasn’t a sports columnist, he was a Harlequin Romance writer. No wonder he wrote for Oui at one time.

The thread, interestingly, has since been removed from sj.com. Gee, contacted by Scott’s Shots, would not comment publicly on the matter.

(For those wondering, sportsjournalists.com, in a nutshell, is a place where sports desk editors, as well as sportswriters and others, vent over how crummy this paper or that columnist is. It’s also a networking spot to get info on the latest openings and movement at papers across the country. Like most message boards, it serves a purpose and then serves the fellowship of the miserable even more. Point is – it’s well-read within the biz. Many posters use aliases, but Gee, who has been registered at the site since Sept. 4, 2004, uses his own, full name. Earlier this summer, Gee had even posted his resume in hopes of attracting work (See: Shots, June 17, 2005.)

Gee had also written, by way of explanation as to how he got the BU gig: “. . .I was such a late substitute that the school was glad to see me. We’ll see how long that lasts.”

Apparently, not very long. Although Riley is prohibited from discussing personnel matters directly he did say, “The University expects its faculty and staff to conduct themselves professionally and appropriately.”

Asked to define those two terms, Riley went Justice Stewart on us and said: “You know it when you see it.”

Apparently, Gee’s misguided posting was “it.”

What on earth was Gee thinking, when he made these inappropriate comments? Further, what editor would hire a guy who publicly admits to drooling over his student? Even more perplexing was Gee’s response after at least one SJ poster gave this friendly advice: “Congrats on the gig and the proximity to a hottie, but be careful. Not with her, but with this site. She or your bosses could Google your name and the university at any point and find this thread.”

Even that lucid warning didn’t seem to have an effect on Gee’s libido or his proud postings: “Dear Folks: I suppose I should be flattered that many of you think this gorgeous woman who’s half my age would consider having sex with me. Which, if I have any news instincts, she won’t. My problem is losing my focus when I meet her to-die-for eyes.”

That was his attempt to save face? “To-die-for-eyes?” “Sex”?
Do you see how odd this is? Would you like to be the parent of a teenager/young adult spending thousands of dollars to have your daughter ogled by a washed up, middle-aged sports columnist?
Clearly, someone or ones – perhaps even Shots itself – tipped off the BU educators to Gee’s Sabra-metrics and pulled his teaching duties. They at least deserve credit for seeing the potential damage of keeping Gee in their employ. Gee had previously explained on sj.com that the temporary position was tossed his way by a former colleague whose travels to India precluded him/her from teaching during the summer term II, which runs from July 5 through August 12.

The course, for the record, is described on-line by the university as: “COM JO 308/JO 722 Newswriting and Reporting II Prereq: COM JO 307 or JO 721. This advanced course incorporates field reporting and writing under pressure of deadline. There is additional coursework and classroom time necessary for COM JO 722. 4 cr. COM JO 308 Tuition: $1776; COM JO 722 Tuition: $3748 Summer 2: B1 Mon. thru Wed. 9-11:30 a.m. Gee”

(By way of disclaimer, it should be noted that Shots and Gee had what I would term an “almost memorable” exchange back on April 13 wherein Gee had responded to some criticism I had thrown his way over his griping in the press box. His response, while odd and in poor taste at some points (a tetsicle necklace was discussed out of nowhere), was nonetheless self-effacing and humorous. On other occassions in the course of this column’s life, I have criticized Gee for a certain lack of the zest I look for in sports columnists. And I’m pretty sure that on at least one occassion, I even applauded Gee’s efforts. I have no personal animus toward Gee whatsoever.

I ‘covered’ him the way I cover many other of the town’s sports personalities. Whether people are willing to admit it or not, this space has been established as a legit source of credible sports media coverage. Gee’s former colleagues and competitors are among my readership and clearly, Gee is quote familiar with what is on this site.

His sad tale is, in my eyes, just another vivid example of how powerful the Internet has become and how clueless some Old Media types are to that power.)

• Yet another sign of just how powerful both the ‘net and blogging has become, came this week when CBS announced a major overhaul and re-focusing of its web entity, cbsnews.com. The site will even employ its own ‘Ombudsblogger’ in the form of Vaughn Ververs – term Shots would like credit for creating that term, by the way. Thank you. And I’m available for all your Ombudsblogging needs. But seriously, watch what happens at CBSnews.com – it will be a huge indicator of how far blogging and new media talent can take certain folks.

• The Shots rumor line was alive with talk of Greg “Slick” Dickerson will be the headline talent for ESPN’s entry into the Boston sports radio market. According to one Shots informant, Dickerson, who has been at FSN since March 2002, has not re-signed with FSN as of yet. It would be unlikely he could continue as a FOX employee while doing radio for ESPN, so the radio gig would need to come with some substantial Benjamins to keep Slick in the purple/pink shirts he’s been displaying from Vegas this week. . . Should Slick leave the loveseats of FSN, the logical replacement as Gary Tanguay and Tonic’s partner would be Michael Felger Belichick Underwood, who already takes up residence on the set regularly. Felger is by no means the Oscar Madison that Slick was, so look for a newly themed ad campaign – maybe something involving the Queer Eye for the Straight Sports Guys?. . . Should all those dominoes fall, the remaining question would be whether Felger could continue his Patriots writing duties for the Herald, the answer to which should be a definitive “No” if the Herald bosses think logically.

• Speaking of Herald bosses, could someone clue the circulation folks into the notion that Hull is a Summer Vacation Location, and as such should get extra copies of the Heraldo during peak beach season. There are days that Shots goes to three separate locations in search of the teetering tabloid, only to come up empty-handed at each spot. . . One more Herald note – a hearty Shots congrats to Mark J. Murphy, the old MetroWest Daily News sports ed., who was promoted by Herald Hank this week to rank of deputy sports editor. In keeping with this space’s use of a adopted nickname for H-Squared, we’ll go with Deputy Dawg or D-Squared for Murph, someone whose talents and skill Shots has been hearing about for a long time from numerous co-workers and associates. That praise has been echoed even recently when you’d think morale might be low on the sports desk. H2D2 seem to have brought some re-assurance and comfort to the battered, remaining crew members of the SS Herald. That’s something Joe Sullivan has been trying to do unsuccessfully with the Green Boxers for better than a year. And Shots is a true believer in morale and positive mental attitudes.

• “Welcome to the Jungle.” How original. Next time maybe Schill can come out to an Arroyo song. Or maybe Matisyahu, at least. . . Schill’s t-shirt in the post-game: “Anyone can win one World Series.” Nice. . . Our New York tab headline for Friday would be this: “Who’s Your Closer?”. . .There will be a fight this weekend – you can feel it already. . . Craig Hansen will be the answer – just not any time soon. Paps Papelbon on the other hand – now he’s intriguing.

• Here’s the four-day-in assessment of the Boston Globe’s Sudoku Sidekick, which debuted this Monday (coincidentally, 7/11, or official “roll the dice” day at the Globe): They’ve dumbed down the Metro, cross-bred it with Calendar and thrown it into the Boring Broadsheet as a complete detractor from anything worthwhile in the lifestyles section.

Please. Why do they insult us? And there doesn’t even seem to be a legit business decision driving the insert. The ad space created is negligible and until yesterday when the Museum of Science took the back page, that prime space had been all in-house spots. . . Interesting that by Thursday, the flip-floppers had already re-designed the crossword page after what must have been a flood of criticism. On one hand, it shows that they listen. But on the other, it shows just how out of touch they are. “Test-marketing” and newspapers have never gone together very well. But they should.

• NECN’s Chris Collins took this week – the sports calendar’s slowest of the year – to introduce and work through a new Top 10 format for his weekday Sports Latenight. Give NECN’s No. 1 some credit for spciing things up but the lame knock-off of Squawk Box and a Husker-du-like video clip memory contest for Sox tickets brings the show down several notches. In addition, Collins now relies on more nationally-fed news including such non-gems as a motorcycyle-riding dog and Dennis Rodman running with the bulls in Spain. Credit is due for trying to incorporate his staffers more and any use of Laura Behnke’s blossoming talents is good by us. It’s not there yet, but it’s got elements worth pursuing. . . FSN Tonight also tinkered a bit and most forgetably added a “Third Man In” segment where all three blabbers can share screen time, instead of the customary two. More is less in this case.

• Still no sightings of Pete The Meat Sheppard near the Hull Seaside Shanty, but we’ve been assured The Meat is settled and comfortable by the shores of Nantasket.

• Whoever the jock-sniffer at ‘EEI is that thinks John Valentin makes for good radio needs to go back to radio school. Or get into another field. Last Friday’s fill-in by Val for Dale on the Holley Show – ya follow? – was Boston’s lowest moment in radio in quite some time. Val on TV is bad enough, but to have to hear him slap the tush of Keith Foulke and drone on about this and that was too much for these ears to take. . . Holley got caught taking a day off from ‘EEI this week and then appearing on alternately awful and amusing, “Around the Horn” on ESPN Wednesday. The guy already has a knack for early departures and that small stunt smacks of a “TV is King” philosophy. That’s what it appears to be at least, and John Calipari always taught me that image and appearance ARE reality.

• The Lee Iacocca/Costanza Chrysler spot would have worked 10 years ago. At this present juncture, though, it’s an odd mix with a missed opportunity. Costanza needs Jerry the way Hondo needed Sam (if you get that reference, you are a true western lover).

• USA Today – another Sudoku-running paper – has been using Michael McCarthy, from the Money section, to pick up some of the slack left by Rudy Martzke’s departure (stop giggling, Haters). So far, McCarthy has been very Rudyesque – blah and full of directly-fed info from the Networks PR hacks. Last week, he even dedicated a good third of his column to discussing the one-hour red carpet show that shilled autos for the entire 40 minutes of “content time.” Ultimately the note evolved into an All-star game discussion, but it took a while and wasted space. My pick for the slot, if he would ever agree to do it? The Money section’s mega talent, Kevin Maney, the tech guy. He’d have to want a big career change, but his style would be perfect for what the Rudy space COULD be.

• This excerpt from a release generated down south, Miami-way, where two analysts guys will be magically transformed into one play-by-play and one color guy. “They were teammates with the Dolphins from 1980-84, and now, in 2005, they will be teammates once again. Former Dolphins Jimmy Cefalo and Joe Rose were named to the broadcast team for all Dolphin games on 790 The Ticket, the first-year flagship radio station of the club.”

Cefalo will do the play-by-play, something he has little – if any – experience with. But he appears Biz-savvy enough to pull it off. Former Dolphin wideout, Nat Moore, by the way, will do sideline reporting, something the Pats Radio Network would be wise to add (in the form of someone with the free time and talent of Shots). Anything that would mean less of Gil and Gino is good with me.

• Always wanting to give you the latest on washed up past mid-major commissioners, we noted this week that old A-10 leader, Ron Bertovich resigned from his Mid Con Conference commissionership. He lasted a little more than two years and reportedly would like to get back to the New York market, presumably up-state, where Bert always had a foothold.

• Maybe Joe Sullivan can explain why the Lobsters aren’t getting daily notebook treatment like the Sox? The Globe has financial interest in both, correct?. . . What’s even worse than the Lobsters coverage for events attended by (we doubt) 1,300 people is that the Herald has tried to counter with some Lobster words themselves (courtesy of Rich Thompson). There is no need to follow the Globe’s lead on that one. The Herald reader ain’t exactly your tennis devotee. . . Nice to see Chad Finn get a little run with his Globe Sox entry on Thursday. Finn’s got the goods for sure.

• Sister Elle wants everyone to know that the deliciously tasty Rainier cherries are on sale for $4.99/pound at Shaw’s. Sadly, the Cohasset branch had one bag of soggy, smooshed fruit when we checked in on Thursday morning. That there would be a hint for someone to bring Shots some ready-to-eat cherries for the weekend. . . Yes, Joe Carcione the Green Grocer is seriously considering a sponsorship deal with us. An that’s YOUR tip for the day. . . More green grocer jokes, they say, and we oblige!

• Our guy, Dave Doyle (and his warped World), suggested a looksie at Andy Nesbitt’s Fox sports piece on the British Open over at foxsportsnet.com. Nesbitt – a name you may recall form Globe days past, is an editor over at Fox now – and is another of those up and coming guys – like Doyle – the Globe will someday regret losing.

• Michael Gee’s other, tamer, Sabra-less entries gave some insight into the package he (and others) got from the Herald. On June 4, he posted:

“. . . The Herald shrinkage program caught me along with many others. A staff of 20 writers is now all of 13, and the space given them could be filled by half that. Weep not for yours truly. The please-go-away package equals a sturdy nylon parachute-roughly 15 months salary plus a lump sum equal to about a year’s health insurance for my family. I’m suie (sic) there’s a reason that saves them money, but that’s one for the finance guys who’re being pushed out.

My point: I have some time, maybe a month before I get twitchy, to think of what I WANT to do instead of what I must do to support me and mine in the style to which our creditors have become accustomed. And gang, the universe of endless possibilities has me stumped.

I’m applying for every job I see just so folks know I’m available. Should I? This is probably the last major life shift coming my way that doesn’t involve the health care system. Is this the time to write my little potboiler novel? What should a male over 50 whose only life skill is the ability to process information and write more or less coherent English prose on deadline do with the chance to remake his existence. Is there a way to use those powers for good instead of evil? Should I become a country editor and bore the shit out of kids in the press box at the high school Friday nights?
Beats me. Right now I’m sending off a billion letters and waiting for the first positive answer. That’s a little hippy-dippy. Do ANY of you have some ideas. Financial return is part of the issue, but not all.”

In those words, you certainly feel for the guy. But a month later, on the same site, he’s portraying himself as some kind of Benny Hill set free in the lingerie department.

Odd, indeed, to say the least.

• Lastly, on Gee, there was this June 6 public fawning by the always annoying New York loudmouth, Wallace Matthews (or at least someone claiming to be Matthews, and we’ll guess that no one who isn’t Matthews would claim to be him).

“Michael: I’m terribly sorry to hear about this, and about Kimball, too (I don’t realy(sic) know the other people). All can tell you is I know from experience what a lonely place you are in right now, but it is important to get the word out to everyone who remotely mght (sic) be able to help that you are available and looking. When I lost my radio show in March, I spent just about every waking hour for the next month trying to sell myself as a full-timer or freelancer, and believe me, the first few weeks were mighty discouraging, But by mid-May, I had a few freelance accounts lined up, managed to score a decent freelance story with Newsday and am finally, after two months of cutting the lawn and painting the deck, getting some feelers for a real newspaper job. I know you get sick of hearing people tell you will land on your feet–I sure as hell did–but believe it or not, you will. Never forget who you are and what you have done, and don’t let anyone else forget either. Good luck. Wally Matthews

• Some pretty heavy stuff today, and we appreciate your indulgence. Remember the sun block this weekend and beware of the Gators at your local pond.

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. and can be reached at shots@bostonsportsmediadotcom

• Okay, so maybe The Finals aren’t over. Still doesn’t mean the games have been compelling. Just play a Game Seven on Sunday and call it done. . . BronBron brought nothing to the table with his courtside chat with Stu Hugs and Fist Pumps. . .If it’s so important that Boston Sports Guy needs to keep a diary of what he’d like us to believe is his event, the NBA Finals, can you think of a reason why he wouldn’t be Event Blogging the entire series (a Scott Shots trademark infringment is what it would be if he ever did)? Oh, that’s right, he’s busy trying to get on a regular schedule. If you’re not admitting that the guy has slipped, you’re not living in reality. Plain and simple. . . Oh, and Scoop Jackson is starting to feel the pain of having to contribute regularly to a fluid site. His Billups piece the other day was made more confusing form the get-go when he played pronoun games for two paragraphs or more. It is he that is him, or somesuch. Just tell us who you talkin’ ’bout, Cat, would ya?

• We’re not feeling the Thursday Pink from Tiger. Sunday Red was one thing. This is entirely different. . . NBC’s Dick Enberg In Training (DEIT), Jimmy Roberts did a story on David Oh’s caddy, Willy, for Thursday afternoon’s 3-5 p.m. broadcast and from there on out, it was all-Willy, all the time. Willy got more mentions than Oh, even when Oh was hitting.

• What, exactly, was Michael Holley upset with on Thursday? The fact that Shaughnasty got some racial overtones in or that Shaughnasty is still writing for the broadsheet while Holley attempts to be compelling with Dale on WEEIdiot Radio? Or that Bye, Max got cancelled and ruined his dreams being National. . . Holley, by the way, is shrinking. I saw it with my own two eyes on FSN’s Oversized Chair Show with “Felgie and Dickie” last night. And he’s dipped into “The Partridge Family” wardrobe for some denim duds. Guess radio DOES make people nutty. . Dannny Boy’s biggest mistake, if any, was burying the quote so far down into the story. His whole column could have dissected the lunacy of an aging pseudo-philosopher king like David Halberstam, comparing a sporting event to the civil rights movement. . . And that’s scary true, because The Big No gave a huge rant on the same point in the 2 o’clock hour yesterday. He hates agreeing with Shaughnasty, he said, which reminded me how much I despise agreeing with Ordway.

• Neumie got caught slumming with Lou Tilley on CN8’s “Out of Bounds” Wednesday eve. Not only is Tilley the most awful sports host in our viewing radius, he rarely gets compelling guests or commentary. Neumie is so much better than Loser Lou and to kowtow to that sad act is a step backward, not forward. Stick with the NESN gig for now and choose a more national course. Understood?

• My Buddy Paulie Brookline finally admits that he does a SELECT ALL and SEARCH for “paulie” and if there’s any hits, that becomes the only part of Shots that he reads. This should fix him of that crap. Hater.

• We’re gonna give the much ballyhooed Phoenix re-design some high marks and we like the overall implicit admission that the web is going to be vital for the longtime Alt Weekly’s long-term vitality and viability. Very, very well done. Let’s see if the big boys are paying attention or asleep at the wheel.

• The Silva Disclaima posted at the Dirt Dogs website goes like this: “Boston Dirt Dogs is a fan site produced by Boston.com. The Boston Globe newspaper and its Sports Dept. do not oversee the site and have no role in its production. BDD’s content is solely the responsibility of Boston.com.”

But please allow Shots to translate that for you: “Enough is enough with this guy. Our writers have been distancing themselves from Slippery Silva since Day One. It peaked this spring when he was trying to portray himself as a legit Spring Training observer. As one of our writers said, ‘What is he?’ Ideally, the Globe would stop wasting money on him and use his salary to bring on some talent. But that’s a dot-com issue and the sports department has enough of its own problems. Understand that he’s the dot-com’s problem and any further embarrassment he causes the New York Times Family is entirely Hanafin’s issue. Oh yeah, one more thing, if you’re actually looking for intelligent sports talk with pop culture and humor, you could always check out Scott’s Shots. We hear he’s pretty good.”

(Portions of the preceding were exaggerated to simulate the thoughts of some, but not all, of the Sports guys at the Globe.)

• Which brings us back to the all-timer from Hanafin after My Boss Bruce carved up the Silvanator in March: “Oh, Bruce, please — spare me. It’s a blog, for God’s sake. Lighten up. Given some of the content on your website, you’re hardly in a position to be flinging mud.”

Well, the Web Globies sure are singing a different tune these days, eh? Makes you wonder what else this site has been right about for the past couple of years.

• Shots officially adds these two phrases from the past week’s sporting events, into our robust collection of the Shots SportLexicon:

QUITTING ON THE STOOL – Some people prefer to call this constipation. Mike Tyson, however called it his career. Yeah. Right. He fights again before nephew Jake gets bar mitzvahed in 358 days or my name is Scott’s Shots The Third.

UNDRESSING YOUR PITCHERS – This one makes more sense after seeing the Riptide girls website and some of their league members’ home pages. But when Frank Robinson and Mike Scioscia started talking about disrobing the opponents, it got us scared. On many levels.

• Joe Walsh on Howard Stern was on E! Thursday night – WOW, comes to mind. the guy’s sober and this is how he is? We can’t even imagine Walsh the User. Life’s been good to me so far.

• LA Time wiseacre TJ Simers had an amusing run-in with Robinson earlier this week and decided it would be good fodder for a column. It was, in fact, good fodder, but it goes back to the age-old question of whether any reader will care how a media member is treated during the course of doing his job.

Of course that was only the start of a most revealing week for the crotchety crank in charge in DC (not Dick Cheney). Robinson, who The Baze reminds us “was a hell of a ballplayer,” is turning into one hell of an entertaining skipper. And Simers has had a week of columns from the entire episode.

• How does Fred Lynn slip into Mr. Dooley’s for an afternoon marketing event for a credit card company without Scott’s Shots getting a call from one of the nearby neighbors to come on down for a pint? That’s just plain rude, and you know who I’m talkin’ to, Norwell’s Notable.

• A welcome call from Cousin Dave Tampa this week evolved into a discussion of how surreal the Tampa sporting scene is these days. Between Pinella, a wild, over-stressed owner in Vince Naimoli and the Malcolm Glazer/ManU predicament, the Tampa/St.Pete area may very well be the nation’s most fertile spot for sports fodder at this time and place. And while you’re thinking of it, check out the picture of the Naimoli-Buster t-shirt guy with the team’s official mascot (http://www.oustnaimoli.com/oust/).

• If you ever watched General Hospital circa the Luke and Laura era, you’ll be kind enough to recall the weather machine people (Stavros? And Robert Scorpio and Emma’s Samms) who found a way to put us back in the ice age. Is any of this sounding familiar?

Anyway, that’s what is happening now. Some bastard has a machine and he’s messing with us.

Snow in August is more than just a great book, you Shabbos Goys.

• Right about here, someone needs to tell Butchy Stearns that it’s time to move on. The only thing worse than Butch on Fox is Butch on ‘EEI (followed closely by Butchy Anywhere). “I’m just sayin’” is what passes for this dweeb’s best rebuttal.

• So my all-time favorite Umie, Monster.com founder, Jeff Taylor, is heading off to another venture and I know I’m not the only one who hopes Taylor will do for bloggers what he did for the unemployed: Give us jobs.

Listen, Jeff – can I call you Jeff? We’re practically blood – once a Umie, always a Umie and all that. Let’s work on a project together – you’ll see, it’ll be great.

• You ask: “What happens to old Herald Columnists when they’re put out to pasture?”

We answer: “They go to sportsjournalists.com and post their qualifications for freelance work.”

Here’s what a gentleman claiming to be Michael Gee has to say about himself for a thread that hooks writers up with freelance work:

“Name: Michael Gee, duh
Years in Business: 28
Published in: Boston Phoenix, Boston Herald, Village Voice, Boston magazine, Sporting News, Maxbaseball.com, and honest to God, Oui magazine.
Links to Clips: Upon request
Awards: A couple Mass. Press Association awards with Phoenix. Bob Cousy once told me I understood basketball.
Availability: Have laptop, will travel. Anything that works economically for both parties. Anything a day’s drive from Boston for sure.
E-mail: mgeelex@aol.com”

First off, the Cousy line is classic. Again, if this had consistently been the Gee that wrote in the Herald, we probably would have had more pangs to see him go. But honestly, the best stuff we’ve read from the guy was in email form to My Boss Bruce (back in the winter) and this witty job beg. (And “Oui?” Gee, or he, wrote for “Oui”? Is that cool or tragically sad? “See Monsieur Gee In Oui. Oui, Oui?”
Second, we give Gee credit for using the site, which does seem to have a few success stories for stringers nationwide.

Most of all though, we wonder what it says for the Herald that their former No. 1 general columnist (in tenure) can leave the paper and within a month be beggin’ for assignments on a site known more for killin’ writers than for getting them gigs.

That’s something Herald Hank better think long and hard about as he moves forward with the re-shaping of his desk. The pages need “oomph” and “pizzazz” and all that stuff that new media guys are proving they can offer up.

• Shots stumbled upon some innovation from the projo.com site and we’re not sure whether to applaud or boo. The cause of our consternation is “Art’s Audio Notebook” by Sports Editor Art Martone. An audio home companion to the ProJo is probably not high among your needs (and Martone’s voice isn’t exactly ready for radio), but the paper needs to be commended for trying some different approaches on its website. At this point, it’s more important to be pushing the envelope than it is to be producing ESPN-quality programming.

So, we’ll applaud ProJo and Audio Art, and save the boos for the Globe.

• This NESN “Fenway Fan Film Fest” seems to be just begging for a porno submission, doesn’t it? Someone get Jenna Jameson on the horn for me, would ya?

• How psyched was NESN’s Tom Caron to have table talk time with Wayne Gretzky the other night? Tommy Lasorda too. But Robin Ventura was clearly the odd man out, despite Caron’s consistent effort to keep Ventura in the mix.

This was a keeper from Gretzky that got overlooked: “We’re closer now than we’ve been in a long time,” to getting hockey back on the ice, he said. Lasorda also chimed in on a very Sox Topic, saying Jim Rice should be in the Hall and that Lasorda himself had voted for him.

• Of course the sentimental story that pervades at Pinehurst this week over Payne Stewart is both worthwhile and emotional. Still, for Shots there is no mention of Pinehurst where we don’t think of a special man who used to grace the streets of that idyllic golf community: Larry Donald, the former Mr. Basketball of College Basketball (and beyond). If you knew Larry, read Larry or spoke with Larry you were among the lucky. If you didn’t, I’m sad to say, they don’t make ‘em like Lar anymore. It’s part of what’s wrong with America today, in fact.

If I may be so bold, I’d even request that Basketball Bob Ryan, during his stay for Tiger Time, could wander over to the Pine Crest Inn and raise a toast to a Final Four media credential that we’re guessing still hangs behind the bar.
But we’re figuring Basketball Bob has already taken care of that – and maybe even dragged along some of Donald’s other devotees.

• This from Media Life Mag on Thursday: “Former Georgetown men’s basketball head coach Craig Esherick has been named vice president of athletic relations at CSTV Networks, responsible for connecting the network with the college sports community. . .
I could do that job. I know I could.

• My new favorite segment of any local newscast is Jamy Pombo’s “The Click” on ABC5’s 5:30 daily report. The smooth-talking Jersey Girl (and senior web editor) gives great click and shows exactly what a little web utilization can do to spice up a newscast. If she’s not exactly a pioneer in this, she is at least blazing a path. Bravo to Five for their willingness to integrate new media. . . And while we’re over at ‘CVB, best wishes and good luck to prez and GM, Paul LaCamera. And let’s hope he realizes that when “Chronicle” gets either A) completely overhauled or B) completely dumped, that he did the best he could to keep the show going.

• At least one pit reporter for EPSN during the Danica Race last Saturday night was wearing the ESPN race jumpsuit. We equate that to having Stuart Scott and Michelle Tafoya in shorts and tanks with ‘ABC’ across the chest for The Finals. Just goofy car racing stuff that we’ll never appreciate or understand.

• Brian McGrory continued his recent roll with Tuesday’s column on the trouble with slots, particularly the scene at Lincoln Park in Rhode Island. A few months back, Shots and The Baze took a run over to the original Linc for some afternoon dog duty. When the greyhounds are the best looking breathing entities in the place, you know you’re at a hole of a hole. “If there’s a more depressing place in New England, I haven’t seen it,” wrote McGrory. Amen.

• And speaking of The Baze – Happy Dad’s Day – to you and Pittsburgh, always and forever.

• Hey, we’re as sympathetic to the Herald’s plight as anyone, but just what can be gained by putting the mug of Joan Kennedy on the front page for four (or more?) days running? We like it better when we get Bridget or Gidget or some tasty morsel worth dropping 50 cents into the Yellow Box for. Not Joan. Anyone but Joan.

• Here’s what Barry Bonds beat boy, Pedro Gomez of ESPN, told GQ in the June issue of the mag: “I’ve been frozen out by Curt Schilling, Randy Johnson, Tony LaRussa and Rickey Henderson. I think if you’re doing your job right, that’s gonna happen form time to time. So if you’re asking me if I’m a pussy, I don’t think I am.”

If I’m Schill, I’m a bit put off that I would be included in a mix of such self-important prima donnas. Oh, wait – was that the point?

• Long-time Shots’ arch-enemy Keith Olbermann got an hour-long ESPN Radio show given to him this week and we start to wonder if this guy has more lives than Tyson? Maybe he IS Tyson.

• Not for nothing, but it looks to these keen eyes as if the Sports Gal in the current Boston Sports Guytoon, got a boob job. Best episode I can recall, by the way, and it was entirely made by the Sports Gal’s disgust at the Celtics dancing sluts. Of course the timeliness was completely lost with the Celts not having played for a month, but who’s gonna notice, right? Just keep feeding the masses BSG.

• Who else was confused on Tuesday when Sardina was at bat and DiSarcina was on color with Troop, filling in for Stick. It was like a code-name directory for the FBI.

• This ownership group just doesn’t miss a beat and the latest sign of the red Sox commitment to excellence was the World Series trophy replica presented by Mike Dee to Jerry Remy’s closest lil buddy, Wally, the booth monster, on Fisk Pole night. Later, Tom Werner presented the RemDawg’s furry friend a ring as well. Quite a moment for sure. . . The problem with naming the left field pole after Carlton Fisk is that such monuments need to be massaged into the lexicon over time. To foist it upon the fandom and make it “official” de-legitimizes the entire event. . . And now, get this, Wally’s got a stuffed stalker which lays at his feet. How long until the Wally Bodyguard appears? The World of Wally is truly fascinating and we will always do our best to keep you informed on all things Wally.

• The BCS threw out a test balloon this week to see if having the Harris Poll people involved in their squirrelly process would put some faith in the general public’s college football soul. It was a pre-announcement, announcement that the same folks who bring us pop-culture polls will potentially be bringing us a football poll.
For those inquiring minds, here are the latest headlines at the Harris home page:

“Cliff Huxtable from The Cosby Show Tops the List of TV Dads This Father’s Day, According to New Harris Poll”

“National Survey Reveals Gay and Heterosexual Personal Financial Decisions May Differ”

“Harris Interactive and IMAS International Conduct Thirteen-Country Survey in Remembrance of 60th Anniversary of World War II”

“Public Supports Some Curbs on Access to OTC Drugs Used To Produce Methamphetamine”

“Public Support for Stem Cell Research Remains High, but Differences Widen Between Supporters and Detractors”

And coming soon: “Bob Stoops Says His Sooners Support Enforcing Sanctions on Iran if Recruiting Violations Continue”

If you’re looking for a legit name, Harris is certainly one of them. The heart of the whole problem is that all of this is wasted energy, if only they would get their heads out of the sand and do the playoff thing.

• To all the dads out there: Nice work. For the most part. Enjoy the weekend. . .

David Scott writes from a seaside shanty on the shores of Hull, Mass. and can be reached at shots@bostonsportsmedia.com

11:43 p.m.

• So, the week’s “Slategate” doesn’t seem to be over entirely. For those of you who have missed the riveting drama thus far, here’s the re-cap: A new Media Guy (Seth Stevenson of Slate Magazine – slate.com) ragged on an Old Media Guy (the Boston Herald’s Michael Gee) and a fellow New Media Guy (Shots, himself) “outed” the heretofore unnamed writer from Stevenson’s original piece. (Note: Shots had contacted Stevenson to get the identity, but Stevenson refused, kindly replying he wasn’t telling but also that “it wasn’t (Dan) Shaughnessy”).
Gee, who we’re thrilled to see is a follower of the site, then sent My Boss Bruce the following email, as well as the ensuing follow-up.
Since some of the response is addressing what I wrote, I figured I’d parse it out and respond where necessary.

I think you’ll agree that these two things become crystal clear: Gee gives better email than column; Gee is not quite fully understanding the revolution about to engulf him and some of his sisters and brethren.
For many of you this will be too ‘he said/she said’ or ‘Shots is jealous of a gainfully employed guy – again.’ What I believe it to be, is a sterling example of why papers like the Herald are about to be gutted from within and internet companies like Yahoo! and AOL are about to further revolutionize event and team coverage as well as the emergence of legit Internet ‘programming.’
Some of you are starting to hear what I’m saying. Your emails (in volume and voice) indicate as much. So how come no one’s doing anything about it?

Anyway, Gee’s email to Bruce is italicized. My responses are not.

Gee’s email to Bruce, received Wednesday afternoon:
Subject: Perhaps you could help me explain a few things to a pair or simpletons.
Being one half of that pair of simpletons (Stevenson is the presumed other), I should take offense at that comment. I don’t, however. Simple is, as simple does.

Dear Bruce: Yes, I was the guy bitching for the game to end faster on Monday. I don’t apologize for that at all. In fact, I think my attitude might highlight the difference between actual journalism
. . . ooooh, here comes a web attack, I can just feel it. . .

and golly-gee-whiz fanboy web types who got credentials thanks to the soft-hearted Red Sox PR department.
Stevenson, indeed may have been golly-gee about the day’s events, and admitted in the blog that it had been a while since he was in a major league clubhouse. Still, he’s not writing for a hardcore, sports audience, so for Gee to slight the guy just because he was describing the goings-on in the press box (and beyond) is missing the point entirely.

As for me, I’m neither ‘golly-gee-whiz’ nor ‘fanboy.’ What I’d propose I am is someone who has been credentialed for a few Super Bowls and a few more Final Four. I’ve been to All-Star games, Bowl games and yes, even some long, drawn-out games that had me wishing for a bomb scare to clear the place. I get the part about the “grind of the job.” I really do.
But I’m happy to say I never outwardly spouted my frustration or made any type of spectacle of myself – however small that spectacle may have been. But that’s just me, I suppose. Lupica IS a spectacle and a few of his ilk are on their way: Woody, Skip and Beano make four. I could go on.

Lastly on this Gee excerpt: The Sox PR department isn’t necessarily being soft-hearted, they’re being forward-thinking. Gee (or is it golly-gee-whiz?) is most likely getting about one-one hundredth of the eyes reading his stuff as the Slate site, and by default, Stevenson’s Sox piece. Truth is, the Sox are being soft-hearted by allowing all the deadwood newspaper guys, radio hacks and TV jamokes into the ballyard.
That’s not to say that the Sox media relations is perfect by any means. But they’re not blind to the environment’s changing ways.

Did Scott or that other moron ever hear of the word “deadline”? My thoughts about a given sports event MUST be completed and turned in by x o’clock. Every needless pitching change, every reliever nibbling at the corners when his team is up or down by 8 runs is stealing time from me and my ability to do my job as well as I’d like or hope. OF COURSE I resent that. Tech types bitch when their tasks are interrupted by system failure, don’t they? What am I supposed to say “Oh, goody, Johnny got a single!”
Fair question. I have, in fact heard of deadlines. Of course, blogging eliminates that problem, but the restraints of newspapers do indeed handcuff the writers. Just ask Mitch Albom.
But did Gee ever think of using his time to, I dunno, maybe craft the column he was going to have to file soon after the final out? His day after “Wake’s gem perfect way to go forward” piece was standard Gee: solid, nothing flashy and hardly must-read. He doesn’t have Bob Ryan’s style or even Shaughnasty’s edge.
And get this, he was ostensibly having his outbursts over the fact that the game was running long, thus delaying his access to the players. The guy used one quote in his entire column and it was placed seven grafs in. It mainly had Wake saying his start was an ‘honor’ and the win was ‘important.’ For that, Gee could have filed during the seventh inning and not missed a thing. And been home by 7 to boot.

To extrapolate from those remarks that I didn’t have a good time at the game is a) false, b) beyond stupid. I have a good time at every game. The day I don’t enjoy attending sports events and writing about them is the day I quit, immediately and without regret. I’m sure not sticking in this racket for the money, endorsement opportunities, and groupies.
True enough. Why should we really care if you had a good time at the game. We should just be comfortable in the fact that you’re giving it your best effort and delivering something worthwhile to the readership. However, with outbursts such as the ones reported, we tend to doubt you were in the perfect state to deliver the goods if you were steaming mad about the sun setting – as it does every day, we remind you.

Every word I write for the Herald or anywhere else is fair game for any critic, be they a rational one like yourself or a bullying uninformed Big Show punk. My comments during (the) said process are irrelevant.
He writes for other places? And he thinks My Boss Bruce is rational? The guy sent me a small t-shirt as my bonus check. I haven’t been a small since birth. . . . As for Big Show punks – that’s tremendous right there. Gee killing the “Big No” boys, and completely unprompted. So when DeOssie, Krisily Kennedy and Smerlas come rolling outta the Dry Dock on their hogs to kick my ass for hating on them, I’ll be able to send them over to the Gee Teepee first. Big Show Punks – it sounds like it should be the Fan Club’s name. “Be a punk – like Meat Head.”

One more thing, smarmy crocodile tears like the ones Scott shed for us Herald types is the sort of comment that could lead to a fella ending up wearing his testicles for a necklace. Just sayin’
Sincerely, Michael Gee, friend of the 2:30 ballgame.
P.S. You have my permission to use any or all of this communication for your website. Now I must prepare for tonight’s game.
Those were neither smarmy nor corcodiley tears. My first magazine job was at College Sports mag and it went under, leaving myself and about 10 good friends out of work in lean times. Clearly, as ESPNU and CSTV show, it was an idea ahead of its time. That hurts a lot when you know something is good in theory, but gets run into the ground. My last magazine job was at SPORT when a bunch of blimey Brits killed the title after a semi-proud 50-plus year history. That was another stretch of good people getting shafted and that one hurt a lot, as well.
If that sympathy and empathy gets me measured for a necklace made of testicles, then you might as well call me Ball Chain Wearer. But I do fear for the industry at large and some of the long-timers who might get squeezed out. (All this, by the way, as Gannett announces its newspaper ad revenues are up. An anomaly or a trend?)
And, by the way, thanks for the permission to use your words. It got me a 2,000-word column in half the time it usually takes.

Follow-up from Gee after a Bruce reply:
. . . As for a blog, it’s looking increasingly likely that quite a few Herald writers will be starting them up in the near future. All in good time.
“In good time?” The paper is being decimated, the website is so substandard it’s a joke and the true players in the Internet information world are already beginning to implement ‘next generation’ philosophies and technologies.
The time is now and that’s one of the biggest lessons the Herald needs to learn from the popularity of Mike Reiss’s daily Patriots’ mid-day update.

. .Oh, yeah, for the record, first edition deadline for us is 8:30, preferably 8 for a day game. Since first pitch Monday was at 3:18, last out was at 6. So I don’t think my grumbling was totally unjustified, although I admit some might have been force of habit. Thanks, Michael Gee
I’m not seeing the issue of having two hours of post-game (at least) to grab quotes and finish off the column – especially if you worked the column into shape during the game.
But I’ll admit there are times when the ridiculous newspaper printing schedule and the “Bulldog Editions” make the process so antiquated that it’s laughable.
But this gets into the argument where newspapers and the old wretches who run them are too damn stubborn to change. The news cycle is fluid now and forever more. With a little planning, the Herald could have driven website traffic for Monday night with a Monday tease in the paper of “Read Michael Gee tonight at the Herald’s website.” Gee, then could have filed soon after the game and either done a follow-up column for the Tuesday hard copy or allowed his colleagues to fill the rest of the Tuesday edition. It’s a different way of using resources – a different way of thinking. Will some writers be resistant to the change? Of course. But a lot of the dinosaurs were pissed when the typewriter and later the Radio Shack laptop went by the wayside. They adjusted – for the most part – and the process was streamlined and improved.
It’s not just Michael Gee who doesn’t understand this New Media world in which we exist and truth be told, I always have liked his low-key, no-TV, no-Radio approach. That said, I think he’s having trouble understanding the way his job has changed and, almost daily, continues to change.
And all those thoughts are coming from a Simpleton – imagine what the trend leaders could add to this conversation?

• It appears Shots may have been the only one who actually enjoyed Terry Cashman’s performance on Monday. It did the trick and part of the appeal was the very fact that it was a familiar voice doing a familiar tune. For The Big No to be so offended by it seems a bit far-fetched and another example of Sports Talk radio gone mad. Cashman’s not getting a Grammy, but O ain’t exactly getting the Edward R. Murrow himself. . . This is for Teddy Ballgame and All the Lonely People. . .

No, No, Nomah
Or
No Mo Nomah
Or
No. No. Nomah

Take your pick, friends. What a weekend! I mean, seriously. Mike Tyson gets knocked out by a chump from England, the Hull beach gets A1 Globe treatment to prove sardines can be people too and Alice Cooper blows the tent off the joint in, of all places, Cohasset, Mass.
Imagine Scott’s Shots surprise when the overflowing inbox missives didn’t want to discuss any of the above. All they wanted was Nomah, Nomah, Nomah. Never even heard of the guy ’til this weekend.
One of rock and roll’s most demented living legends invades suburbia on a mid-summer night, swings crutches, daggers and canes in the air, and all you people want to do is talk about the Sheath, the whole Sheath and nothing but the Sheath? Get a life, would you. . .It has taken a while to digest the Garciabyebye and Scott’s Shots was fortunate enough to have scheduled in a few “personal days” to surround the trading deadline to aid in assessment. Here’s some of what I have discovered sipping frozen apple-tinis, dipping white corns chips into homemade guack and playing Backgammon with the purtiest lady you ever did see: Yellow Boxer Michael Gee slept through the entire episode. His Monday column was more confusing to us than the actual details that led to the trade. Gee tried to paint a scenario where Derek Jeter was traded and draw some sort of parallel to how Theo was spinning the deal. But then he goes on to write, “OK, Jeter’s a special case.” He then goes into another scenario where, instead it’s Barry Zito. Gee, Gee, I just read a third of the damn column and now you tell me that was useless because of Jeter being a special case. Do you really think I’m going to trust you for another sentence, never mind the remaining two-thirds? And I still don’t know why this move didn’t make the team “better able to win the World Series.” It most certainly did, if only for the reason that Sour Puss isn’t moping in the dugout anymore. . . That’s not to say Scott’s Shots won’t be cheering whenever Nomar does make his return to Fenway. We never boo Drew, Clemens or ‘Toine. We won’t boo No. 5, No. 8 or whatever No. he is. . . Great news, no matter what side of the Nobrawl you stand on: In a less reported, but more important move, the Sox also traded Ben Affleck to the Kerry Campaign for a case of sunflower seeds and some pine tar. He’s your problem now, Flip-Flop. Enjoy. . . Fortunately the rest of Boston’s main columnists were up to the task of assessing the year’s biggest sports story (Super Bowl? Nope – maybe if it had been the first one again, but this last one was toned down.). . .This is going to sound like more Shaughnasty Reversal (see 7/30/04 column) or, as former valued reader Paulie Brookline called it: “girly man explanation of guilt”; but Danny Boy nailed it with Sunday’s column on Mr. Hamm. Despite laying a bombshell of some supposed Nomie team bus groveling from last year, and not having the space to explain its origin, DB took the trade for what it was: making the best of a bad situation. . . Still, it was the city’s most in-tune columnist, Gerry Callahan, who had the words that Scott’s Shots most wanted to read concerning the trade, the fallout and the future. Callahan had told Scott’s Shots earlier in the summer about his need to “be with” his column for a while. “I can’t just send it in. I can’t,” said the Cranky One. Monday’s entry was far, far from a “send-in” (see MGee, above) – it was well-crafted, humorous and pointed. With just a page separating Cal and Gee, it couldn’t be lost on anybody who the Yellow Boxers’ rock and redeemer is. . . Sounds like NECN’s Chris Collins prior relationship with the new Mr. Cub paid off in buckets with a GarGar call-in to Collins’s “Sports Latenight” Sunday edition. Once again, while the rest of the Sunday shows obsess over cramming the most writers they can onto a set, Collins focuses on the athletes whenever he can. You can’t tell me NBC7′s Joe Amateurino is better than this guy – it’s not possible. And yet Joe has the higher-profile job. Broadcasting injustice is a bitch. . .The WEEIners, especially the Gargantuan Gigglers of the late afternoon are at their most annoying these days. In admittedly (and proudly) sporadic listening, we have discovered this truth to be self-evident: you don’t need a brain to dial a phone. . .The former-Boston Sports Guy weighed in, of course, but for my taste he went way too-Hollywood, way too serious and way-too long in a column that included too many “Halloween” and “Deathwish” references for a non-viewer of either to handle. Sometimes, he just gets too cute for me to handle. . . This, of course, from a guy who led his Special all-Nomar Edition with details from an Alice Cooper concert attended by, oh, 1,500 people. Sorry, Sports Guy, I think it’s just bothering me that you have an Intern who has a better gig than me, and I’m twice his freaking age. . . Bitter? Me? No, just keeping in the No-mood. . .From the PR side, it seemed like non-too-veiled jabs by Theo when he praised the improved defensive infield just after thanking Nomar for his years of service. If it was a John Henry-mandated deal, as some of the buzz is suggesting, than Theo is not the power-broker we thought. If it was a Theo-mandated deal, and the defense continues to fail and the team continues it’s WOLO ways (win one, lose one) – Theo could be on his way to the Dan Duquette Sports Academy, perhaps as a counselor. . .Why did WEEI have to use the NESN audio feed of the Sox presser on Saturday and furthermore, why did they ever cut away form the pseudo-news conference? Dickie and Wallie are no more interesting than Theo, I assure you. . . You’d like to think all this Nomar nomenclature would die down, but it won’t. . . And whoever the “veteran TV observer” was that told Bill Griff Gruff Griffin this deal makes the Sox less appealing on TV, is probably both blind and also hasn’t owned a TV since his or her black and white died in ’68. The Sox are compelling because they’re the Sox, not because they’re the Nomars. Griff Gruff should know better than to fill a column with useless words. Oh, wait. Sorry – all this Nomar talk and I forget the SporTVoid’s basic creed: be dull, be boring and mention the ridiculous numbers that already appear in a box below your words. . . Griff, Nomar typed that last line, I swear – go get him, big fella! He’s the one smiling and wearing a cute little cubbie on his chest. . .No one said Mia got traded. I say we keep her in Boston. . . Back to the beach, folks. Keep those emails a comin’ – it’s because of readers like you that we pen eleven hundred more words on the most over-analyzed trade of all-time.

David Nomar Scott writes from a seaside Nomar shanty on the Nomar shores of Hull Nomar and can be reached at david@bostonsportsmedia.com

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